You know what they say. After Taco Tuesday and the impending explosion in your porcelain throne which follows, you better get kraken and wipe your kraken. This Kraken Toilet Paper Holder will help. He’s got 8 tentacles to hold that precious TP. Don’t be an octo-puss, hang this by the toilet.
Tag: kraken
Kraken Cameo Brooch
Damn son! I always knew the Kraken was some chick’s hair. Yo, I ain’t your shampoo. Leave my ship alone! Why you bathing out here in the middle of the ocean anyway ya giant freak? Your hair smells lovely by the way. There goes half my men overboard. Hopefully, they end up in your hair like cooties. This Kraken Cameo Brooch is wild. Time for a haircut lady.
Kraken Door Knobs – Perfect for Cabinet Doors in Hell
If your cabinet doors could use some creep, you need Kraken Door Knobs. We can’t think of a better doorknob to give your visitors a mini-heart attack when they enter your home this Halloween. Especially if you put tentacles inside the cabinet. Or freaky jasr filled with shrunken heads. That should frighten your guests. Use them on drawers or closet doors in the guest room just to mess with your house guests. It adds some scariness and they are also art.
They are made to look like an antique and can be used as a knob to hang coats on too. They are awesome!
Mecha Kraken Statue
The Mecha Kraken Statue is all powerful. Mecha Krakens are way more powerful than the average beast. I’m not sure if Krakens have balls, but if they do, this guy has some big brass ones. That is one badass sea monster.
Kraken Tentacle Cane – Get Off My Lawn
Whoa! This Kraken Tentacle Cane is gonna make me one cool elder. Gonna buy it now and save it for when I get older. Any young whipper-snappers give me any guff and their gonna get it right in the lip. And by “it” I mean cold hard tentacles. Whack! Cuz old people can get away with that shizz. I’ll whack people left and right. What’d you say, son? Whack! I don’t like your tone. Whack! Gonna spend the whole day just whacking off.