These Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Coasters are freaking me out man. Too terrifying. These tales are chilling, even blood curdling. Stories like… Tax time! *screams* Or… Your furnace is going to cost you 4 grand to fix! *sobbing on the floor. Make it stop. No more. No more.* Truly scary stories in the dark or in the light. Or even in candlelight. *shudders* Someone hold me.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Fingerboy Horror Sculpture
Check out the Fingerboy Horror Sculpture. I give it the finger. Which is actually a ringing endorsement. I think the price is too high though. I would go for the 5 finger discount. He looks like somebody punched a baby all cartoon-like. You kids today and your violent art. Is that snot? Well, that’s the least of his problems. He’s got more than enough fingers to pick his boogers anyway. He’s got enough fingers to pick a booger with each and load em up and flick ’em machine-gun style.
I want him on my side in the next great war.
Guillotine Garden Pick – Off With Your Plant’s Head
Scare the green off your plants with this Guillotine Garden Pick. Do you say gee-a-teen or gill-a-teen. The proper way to say it is gee-a-teen. Either way, if your house plants displease you, just bring this thing out and they will fall in line. It is the perfect accessory for any gothling who has a green thumb, but black nail polish. Which is half of my audience. I have a cactus who could use a good dose of fear from this Guillotine Garden Pick. I’m sick of getting stabbed every time I water it. I mean, you can’t even give a cactus a good smack.
Bat Towel Set – Tea Towels Of Terror
Look what we have here. A Bat Towel Set is awesome. It features the Flying Fox, the Leaf Nosed bat, and the Spectre. I love bats in the belfry at breakfast in Belfast before my bowels break bad… I probably shouldn’t have tacos for breakfast. You live you learn. Anyway, these are going to look good in your kitchen. I can’t wait to wipe my hands on these flying horrors. Until I get yelled at by the wife like I always do.
Goth Gift Wrap – Cover It In Bats
If you want to cover gifts in bats, you don’t need a bunch of dead bats and a glue stick. What you need is Goth Gift Wrap. It’s a classier way to bathe something in bats. Elegant in fact. I plan to wrap a pile of guano meticulously and leave it on my neighbor’s doorstep. He’ll go batsh*t crazy. Hey, I care enough to give the very best.