Fingerboy Horror Sculpture

Fingerboy Horror Sculpture
Check out the Fingerboy Horror Sculpture. I give it the finger. Which is actually a ringing endorsement. I think the price is too high though. I would go for the 5 finger discount. He looks like somebody punched a baby all cartoon-like. You kids today and your violent art. Is that snot? Well, that’s the least of his problems. He’s got more than enough fingers to pick his boogers anyway. He’s got enough fingers to pick a booger with each and load em up and flick ’em machine-gun style.

I want him on my side in the next great war.

Baby Doll Head Leggings

Baby Doll Leggings
Dear God in heaven! In the name of all that is holy, those are some hauntingly creepy Baby Doll Head Leggings. It’s like a portal to hell opened up and they all came spilling out! I can hardly even look at their faces. Fun fact: I am so disturbed I almost typed, “I can hardly look at their feces”. That would actually be preferable to these demonic doll heads.

If you look real close some of them look like they have butt-heads. God help us all. The demon doll head invasion has begun!

Nuclear Family Nesting Dolls: Mutated Matryoshkas

mutant nuclear family matryoshka nesting dolls
This menagerie of mutant Matryoshkas look murderous and malevolent. Gotta be honest. Not even sure I spelled matryoshka right. Spell check isn’t helping. It does have “try” in it, so as long as you try, that’s all that counts.

These five nesting dolls are a real nuclear family. They have the radiation, falling out teeth, blisters and the odd tentacle or two to prove it too. I haven’t seen a family so ugly since I made my own. Not now junior, daddy’s working. Here’s a pork chop. The dog will play with you now.
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Wooden Head Knife Block

wood head knife block
Check out this wooden head knife block from Etsy seller DisturbingWood. Ha! DisturingWood! You should see me in the morning! *rimshot*

I need another knife block like I need a knife through my wooden head, but if you buy this one, make sure you giggle every time you slam a knife down into it, just to make your guests or housemates really uncomfortable. No charge for that tip. I have a million ways to clear a room and they don’t all involve ejecting poison gas from my butthole. Although that is my specialty.

Disturbing Doll Head Candleholder Centerpiece

doll head centerpieceHow’s this for a creepy centerpiece? Only on Etsy could you stick a doll’s head between two candles and call it a centerpiece. Maybe for dinner in hell. If you ever find yourself in the fiery depths of hades, you are sure to see this centerpiece on some table so that the likes of Hitler and Josef Mengele can admire it as they eat bowl after steaming bowl of s**t soup for all eternity.

I for one don’t need any demented Toddlers and Tiaras on my dinner table. Can you imagine the foul demons this thing would summon when lit up? Now I’m gonna have nightmares.
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