Alien Man In Black Mannequin

Alien Man In Black Mannequin
You could have this Alien Man In Black Mannequin in the corner of your room, protecting his pee-pee with his white-gloved hands and hoping that he is invisible. So is it a man in black or an alien? Make up your damn mind. And get your hands off your junk. This is what I want in a butler by the way.

Alien.
Well-dressed.
Stand in the corner and shut your abduction-hole.
Hide that boner!

Until I ring the bell. Then bring me my food biatch! You better cut that Snickers properly this time so I can eat it with a fork.

Alien Xenomorph Egg Cushion Pillow

Alien Xenomorph Egg Cushion Pillow
This Alien Xenomorph Egg Cushion Pillow lets you lay down on the couch and get your damn face hugged into oblivion. Naptime is now nightmare time. Alien eggs. For your couch. Or bed. Or wherever the hell you want to be scared to death. Bonus: If someone tries to grab your pillow, you can say, “Hey! Lego my alien EGGo!” That’s always fun. At least until they hatch. Then your fun wordplay aint shizz! You’re just alien Xenomorph food.

After it eats you, it’s gonna sit on your couch watching Oprah and warm up all of the other eggs until they hatch. Sad really.

Gothic Skeleton Snowglobe

Gothic Skeleton Snowglobe
Who needs a stupid souvenir snow globe of NYC or North Carolina when you can watch it snow all day long on a pile of bones? This Gothic Skeleton Snowglobe looks like the aftermath of an atomic bomb going off. Nice. It’s got a skeleton in there with the skull, which is a hard set to find after an apocalypse. I might have to display this at Christmas.

Alien Cat Bath Bombs

Alien Cat Bath Bombs
Instead of storming Area 51 and risking the wrath of the United States government’s armed forces, why not enjoy a relaxing soak with these Alien Cat Bath Bombs. The outside is a striking green just like we knew the aliens would look like in Area 51. On the inside are three hidden colors just waiting to be discovered.

These little critters have been described as out of this world, heavenly and meowraculous for someone needing a little downtime. Let the soothing smells of vanilla and a dash of bubblegum whisk you away to a more peaceful time before alien invasions, while the organic olive oil gives your skin some much needed loving.

These bath bomb are like no other known bath bombs in this galaxy and each alien kitty is unique. Instead of putting on your tinfoil hat and enduring a stressful stampede for the possibility of seeing aliens in Nevada, take a stress-free bath with one of these creepy-cute galaxy cat bath bombs.

Faux Taxidermy Bigfoot

Faux Taxidermy Bigfoot
When you can’t catch Bigfoot yourself, you buy this Faux Taxidermy Bigfoot. No one will ever know that you didn’t hunt him down. This guy looks like some kind of elder sasquatch who was on his last leg anyway. He would have been easy to kill. “When I was a kid….” Bang! Bagged me a Bigfoot. An old nasty smelly Bigfoot that was headed for retirement anyway. Not sure if I should be sad or happy with this on my wall.