If you want to cover gifts in bats, you don’t need a bunch of dead bats and a glue stick. What you need is Goth Gift Wrap. It’s a classier way to bathe something in bats. Elegant in fact. I plan to wrap a pile of guano meticulously and leave it on my neighbor’s doorstep. He’ll go batsh*t crazy. Hey, I care enough to give the very best.
Tag: holidays
Krampus Nightmare Elf For Your Shelf
We have all heard of Elf on a Shelf, and if you are over the age of 10 you probably wanted to do bodily harm to the little, happy weirdo with the creepy smile. After all, he brings sheer torture to adults, at the same time that he spreads holiday cheer to children across the globe. Supposedly. The creators of Krampus on the Counter obviously despised the cheerful elf when they created their demonic version.
Krampus definitely brings the holiday creep, with his head being a weird combination of a troll and the President of the KISS fan club. His body is bizarrely the same exact size of the Elf on a Shelf; a little too exact for our discomfort. *shudders*
Krampus Christmas Wreaths – Deck The Halls With Krampus
Krampus is making a list. He’s checking it twice. He knows which kids he’s gonna slice and dice. These Krampus Christmas Wreaths will look great on your door or in your home. Ditch Santa this year and celebrate with Krampus. Or maybe hedge your bets and celebrate with both, cuz I wouldn’t want to piss Santa off. Etsy seller FantasyClayFlowers has several versions of these cool wreaths and they all look scary and awesome. Your kids will behave with decorations like these on display.
Silent Night, Deadly Night – Gothic Christmas Sweater
Jingle bells, Krampus smells, my fart smells like eggs… It’s that time of year again. I’m gonna help you dress your best for the holidays. Check out this sweet Gothic Christmas Sweater. It will help you be a Gothic Grinch. In a good way. Who needs a colorful cheery sweater when you can have a black one full of skulls, black cats, pentagrams, bones, coffins and more? Happy horror-days!
Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper
Merry Krampus everybody! Get some of this Krampus Christmas Wrapping Paper and wrap all of your gifts in style. You get three large sheets of wrapping paper per order that measure 20″ x 28″. They have a great retro design. Everyone loves Krampus. Except for my Grampus, cuz he’s a grumpus. Man, I never get thoughtfully wrapped gifts like this. I’m gonna buy these and wrap myself some presents. My life is sad. *sigh* I made a poem:
Kris Kingle
saw Krampus’ dingle
while riding one night in his sleigh.
He veered to the stop
got out with a hop
and ran home screaming all the way.