My Cthulhu just had pups. Aren’t they adorable? I mean, they’re gonna grow up to destroy the world, but still. Now I gotta go through the hassle of printing up some flyers. You know “Free Cthulhu pups” call me at the number below. I named them Zoidberg, Squidchin, Tenta-butt and Squiggly.
Their mother died, so I have to milk them myself. I gotta come clean, the mother is fine. I just enjoy it. But my man-boobs are starting to dry up. Except when they cry. Then it’s like a leaky faucet. We got a weird bond thing happening. My nipples are pretty irritated though.
Damn it Zoidberg, stop clawing at the sofa.