Gamer Wedding Cake Toppers

gamer wedding cake topper
Look at these guys. Getting dragged away from their video game crack habit. These Gamer Wedding Cake Toppers let you know right at the wedding that your gaming days are over. Suckers. The first step in not getting married is to avoid women. Period. Step one will help you to avoid women’s periods too. Sure, we all have an urge to spend time with the fairer sex, but that’s what rescuing Princess Peach is all about. What I’m saying is, they can’t trap you into a video game-less marriage if you stay inside and play video games all day.

Take it from me. That’s just how I roll. Of course the only downside is being 30 and having your MOM drag you away from the video games. And up the basement stairs. And paddling your backside, but that’s a whole other story. That really sucks. If you haven’t seen actual sunlight in a few weeks, that shizz hurts your eyeballs! Not to mention your heinie. Happened to me last week!
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Imprison Your Cell Phone In This Cell Phone Cage

cell phone cage
In this connected world that we live in sometimes you have to force yourself to break away from Facebook, Snapchat and the like, and spend some time having actual face to face communication. And since we all have zero willpower, that means you have to lock up your phones in a maximum security prison.

That’s what this cell phone cage is all about. You can lock multiple phones in this jail for up to 60 minutes at a time. It even has little bunks they can sleep on. When the time expires, it will play silly audio like “Justice is served, power up!”, “You are now free to phone”, and “It’s time to rejoin digital society”. And if it’s opened an alarm will sound.

Oh so you are texting in the middle of my story about how I got a sweet deal at the store? You have to take that call now do you? Right when we are in the middle of a board game? Your phone is incarcerated pal! This time with no possibility of parole!

Your phone now has a 30 day sentence. I found a micro SD shiv on the top bunk and the Samsung in the bunk below has a scratch.