I hate these haunted candles. I always wind up in a staring contest with them, which only ends when the wax melts down and burns their eyeballs. Or mine. I guess I shouldn’t stand so close. Some people never learn.*Checks my scalp burns on my bald head. Hey I have some stubble now. Cool.*

Look at how surprised they look that their head is on fire. That’s the same face I made. That’s also the face I’m making right now. Prairie-doggin’ it something fierce. I’m out guys. I’ll probably make that face one more time when I discover we are out of toilet paper. Yep. Just happened.
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