Tag: hamburger

North Carolina Restaurant Serves Up Tarantula Burgers

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North Carolina Restaurant Serves Up Tarantula Burgers
A North Carolina restaurant is doing everything they can to make sure that I never eat there. They have a nasty creation available to a few ‘lucky’ customers in the form of a tarantula-topped burger. Durham’s Bull City Burger and Brewery are having their annual ‘Exotic Meats Month.’ Exotic my arse!

The rotating menu has rabbit, python, camel, and a spider burger. First, you have to enter a raffle and, if your number be pulled, you have 48 hours to claim your spot at the spider table. If you eat the whole thing, you get a t-shirt.

Uhhhhhh. No thanks, I own several T-Shirts already.

Cheeseburger Backpack

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Cheeseburger Backpack
Cheeseburger backpack! It’s got lettuce and cheese sticking out of the bun. Probably has special sauce too. I’m gonna be so cool walking into the fast food place with this on my back. They’d ask what I want. I would just point to my backpack. Give me one of them. A cheeseburger. And hurry it up son. Acne face behind the counter will know what I mean. That guy’s gonna think I’m so awesome.

Until the guy behind me is all like, “Hey, nice backpack, dude! Is that another one in the front, under your shirt?”

Yeah. I can never be cool. *sighs* And no, that’s just my gut, the bastard child of a thousand cheeseburgers.

Crazy Food Marionette Puppets: Watch My Hot Dog Dance!

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

Crazy Food Marionette Puppets
These crazy Food Marionette Puppets from pocketlamps are awesome and freaky. I wanna get one just so I can make my wiener dance around and sing. Maybe put on a one man show. I would call him Wiener Schnitzel. It would be the worst. Bratwurst! The reviews would say, “That is one hot dog!” and “I relished the whole thing.”

There’s also a Hamburger and a pretzel. I gotta go write my script. I am gonna bring Broadway crashing to it’s knees and weeping to make it stop.
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Giant Hamburger Stool: Not What It Sounds Like

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giant hamburger stool
This Giant Hamburger Stool is not what it sounds like. I’m talking an actual stool you sit on, not a stool of the sample variety. Why do doctor’s need that anyway?

“Your fecal matter tested high in hamburger and very little else. Good God man, do you live in McDonalds? That is the hardest log I have ever seen. No wonder it took you 2 weeks to get back to us.” Well, I do frequent the establishment of the red-headed clown. *Doc writes a prescription* “Take this to the nearest pharmacy, called a ‘grocery store’ and have the pharmacist, I mean clerk help you out. It’s called salad. Eat it.”

I was going to. But then I realized that they already put a leaf of this stuff on my hamburgers, so I’m good.

via Uniquehunters

Cheeseburger Tie

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cheeseburger tie
I could drip grease and burger sauce all over this Cheeseburger Tie and nobody would notice. I’ll just wear it as a napkin and dab at the corners of mouth after every meal, like a truly civilized cheeseburger eater. Anyway, your accessories should match whatever you are putting in your mouth. At least that’s what Honey Boo Boo’s mom says. Which explains why she is fond of mayonnaise colored moo moos.

Sadly, I find myself blogging from KFC, where this tie won’t work at all. Anyway, I’m out. Time to close this laptop and get off the toilet. What the? No toilet paper? Is this a joke? Why would KFC not have toilet paper. Or even some napkins. Oh, that’s right. Cuz it’s finger lickin’ good! Real funny Colonel Sanders. Just for that I ain’t flushin’. There’s your bucket of chicken back.