Yo crazy eyes, stop giving me the stink-eye and just hold my stuff. You so crazy! This Crazy-Eyed Steampunk Skull Purse has got problems. You looking at me punk? You must be looking at me, cuz I don’t see anyone else here. You want some of this? Come get some! Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m the alpha dog here! Punk! You the weak dog!
Now open your head so I can put some lipstick and eyeliner on. That’s much better. Let’s be friends ya crazy bastid!
Damn. This Octopus lamp is scary as hell.
Daddy, why is that Octopus wrestling that lamp?
You see Billy, when an Octopus loves a lamp very much, he forcibly grabs the lamp and wraps himself around it so it can’t get away. Then he has his way with it. Hopefully with the lights out. It cares not about permission. I’m sorry you had to see that son.
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This ink/watercolor print goes Full Veeptopus. Showing all 47 Vice Presidents with Octopuses on Their Heads. I know what you’re thinking. Why just the Veeps? Every politician acts like they have an octopus on their head.
Well, I have no idea. I just know that the President is a puppet, being controlled by one giant octopus that lives in the whitehouse ceiling. It doesn’t have suckers on it’s tentacles. Because we are the suckers.
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These crazy Food Marionette Puppets from pocketlamps are awesome and freaky. I wanna get one just so I can make my wiener dance around and sing. Maybe put on a one man show. I would call him Wiener Schnitzel. It would be the worst. Bratwurst! The reviews would say, “That is one hot dog!” and “I relished the whole thing.”
There’s also a Hamburger and a pretzel. I gotta go write my script. I am gonna bring Broadway crashing to it’s knees and weeping to make it stop.
Read more “Crazy Food Marionette Puppets: Watch My Hot Dog Dance!”
Get off my lawn you hoodlum! NOW I know what that crazy old guy was talking about? He was afraid I would wrap my head in it’s own sleeping bag and nap on his lawn. The jokes on him. After I left, I doubled back and slept on his porch while he was watching Matlock. No reason really. It was tiring eating that Big Mac and large fries.
Why did you walk to McDonalds?
I didn’t. Dude’s house was a rest stop between me and the car. I get winded after like 30 feet. I’m bringing this thing with me next time so my face stays all toasty.
Read more “The Hoodlum: A Sleeping Bag For Your Head”