
This is a Zombie Survival Kit that you can buy to be prepared for the eventual zombie apocalypse. I have no idea what’s going on in that image above. I think it’s the story of a cowgirl experiencing an undead outbreak firsthand. She was probably minding her own business, riding a mechanical bull, in some dark warehouse, or maybe giving a lap dance while some dude admires her tramp stamp, I have no idea, when the zombies burst in. So she got her knife out and got to work because she had this survival kit. Looking fabulous while chopping heads and making the undead dead again. Yippe Ky yay MFer! And that is exactly how you keep your sleezy nightclub free of undead freaks. She’s my new hero. Or is it heroine? She is my new heroine. I plan to take her internally once I find a vein and sleep with my eyes open and a smile on my face as I watch her exploits in my mind.
This kit includes a survival bandanna, survival saw, machete, germicide tablets, survival can, emergency blanket, survival book, first aid book, compass kit, gas mask, and a heavy wooden crate with a locking clasp.
I don’t know if this guy is a Leprechaun, an elf, or some undead freak of nature, but I’m confident that he earned the “creep the f**k out of everyone” badge and probably ate his scout leader too. Probably mixed the guy’s body with that can of baked beans I gave those little sh*ts last week when they hung a bag on my door (With several more on my lawn) and expected me to fill it with stuff I hate. Mission accomplished on that one. I gave them 2 cans of SPAM and a half case of Chef Boy’Ardee. Enjoy the GMOs troop unknown number with creepy looking scout leader.