Wooden Bat Wings Bow Tie

bat bow tie
Sometimes I invite vampires to dress up and attend my fancy balls. My vampire balls are held strictly for fun of course. In fact I have often heard it said that my Vampire balls are “sweaty, but well formed”, because I do tend to have the heat up, but it is all planned out perfectly. Others say that my Vampire balls are “high and tight” and they are, as we are on the penthouse floor, but in a small side room.

But enough about my great big swinging Vampire balls. If you attend, make sure you wear something like this cool Wooden Bat Wings Bow Tie. If I am impressed, perhaps next year I will put you in charge and then you can hold my Vampire balls for me.

Turn Any Hipster Into A Cuckoo Clock With This Bird Head Brooch

bird bow tieNeed to up your wardrobe? Just put a bird on it. It’s like a chestbursting alien, only it’s a dead bird’s head. And there is no blood.

Just affix this $95 bird head to your shirt and you are now a cuckoo clock. Maybe you can rig it to pop out on the hour. I hope you and your fine feathered friend have lots of adventures together. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

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