Tag: bird

Black Raven With Secret Key

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Black Raven With Secret Key
So this is what everyone is raven about. This Black Raven With Secret Key is the perfect decor for your garden. What’s the key to? Your heart of course. How the hell should I know? They love shiny things. I should know since they keep pecking at my jewels. The family jewels that is. Why attack my crotch? What the hell is wrong with these black ravens? Must be my shiny zipper. I can’t even go outside anymore.

Yeah, so this one’s not for me, but you’ll probably love it. I’m better off with these stained glass ravens. But I can’t stop asking myself what that key is for? Is it a key to raven headquarters? Does he have all of the shiny stuff that he collected locked up in a vault and he keeps it close so no one can steal it all? Is he teaching other ravens to do this? Are we going to see birds everywhere wearing a key like this, maybe two or three, all decked out like Mr. T? I have so many questions and the bird ain’t talking. He ain’t even squawking. Mostly I just want to take a peek at his super secret stash.

Bird Plague Doctor Mask – Just In Time

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Bird Plague Doctor Mask - Just In Time
Yeah, this is me giving you the bird. The Bird Plague Doctor Mask. Because we live in weird times. I like how it looks really filthy like it’s made from dead bone. Hey, maybe wash every now and then and then you won’t have plagues that you need a mask for. Just an idea. Call me crazy but a little bit of soap goes a long way my bird brotha. Somehow I don’t think people would appreciate it if you walked around your local town in this while everyone is sheltering in place. I’m social distancing myself from all bird people until this thing is over with. Heck, maybe I’ll wear this thing and shelter in nest. Making cawing noises as is appropriate for the end times. Where are you hauling me off too? I was cawing, nit coughing! Caw! Caw! Caw my lawyer! I don’t have the caw vid.

This Plague Doctor Doll is just as cool as the Bird Plague Doctor Mask above but cuter.

Bird Skull Rings

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Bird Skull Rings
My skull is going all whirlybird over these cool creeptastic Bird Skull Rings. Remember a bird on the finger is worth two in the bush, but giving a guy the bird from within a bush is a safe way to flip someone off. But giving a lady the bird in a bush is often considered obscene, even if from within concealment. I’m going magpie for these rings. I’m crowing about ’em everywhere. I’m Raven. I’m paying for one with my card-in-all. Get it? Credit card, but like the bird? I crack myself up, but never pigeon-hole myself. That sounds dirty.

Gothic Raven Wreath

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Gothic Raven Wreath
This Gothic Raven Wreath has me writhing all over the floor. I will proudly display this and the neighbors will feel my wrath! I mean wreath! You wreath what you sow peeps! The seasons don’t fear the Raven, nor do the wind, sun and the rain… This Black and Grey wreath is an 18” grapevine wreath painted black. With a raven. He will silently judge those who come to your home and determine whether they are worthy of entering.

Raven’s Heart Necklace

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Raven's Heart Necklace
Can’t find something to wrap up for your gothic friend’s anniversary or milestone? Looking for something cool, and slightly dark and twisted, to wear that complements your outfit? Well, here’s something to rave about. This Raven’s Heart Necklace depicts a flying raven with a garnet bead for its heart. It is made using genuine leather that is coated with wax for longevity. At 4” by 3”, it is not so big that it feels like too much bird. The straps are also made of leather. The bird is the word peeps!