Tag: morbid arts and crafts

Just Your Everyday Illuminati / Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp

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Just Your Everyday Illuminati Black Magic Teddy Bear Lamp
Looky here. An Illuminati Teddy Bear Lamp. Also claims to be black magic. They also had Voodoo in their title. I’m surprised they didn’t mention Santeria. I had that once. I’m pretty sure it means having the runs during Christmas. Seriously though, this thing has some bad juju. I think they confused illuminati with illumination. Obvious mistake. Now ya got some half crazed devil teddy bear with a lamp on his head making you worship some freaky deity every night.

Hey, I don’t judge. You wanna have a scare-bear go for it. You won’t find this thing on my night stand. Don’t mess with the illuminati. Period. End of story, That’s all she wrote. Because a demon bear attacked her. Illuminati. As in Illumi-NOT-I. Ain’t gonna have it.

Click through for an image of a half crazed feline under it’s spell.
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Game of Molars: Crown Of Teeth

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crown of teeth
When you play the game of molars, you chew or you don’t. There is no middle ground. Also… Dentures are coming!
Also…. A Lannister always pays his dentist.

This crown of teeth lets you wear some pearly whites on your head, which would feel like your head is in the mouth of some weird beast. Now you know how your food feels.

Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy

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Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy
Check out this piece of Die Antwoord Baby Rat Taxidermy. If you don’t know who Die Antwoord is, I feel sorry for you. They are awesome and weird as f**k. Look them up now and either be blown away or totally freaked out by their music videos.

Ninja and Yolandi have never looked better. Actually they have. But not by much. Now I have that song going through my head. “I fink you’re freaky and I like you a lot!”. That’s kinda how I feel about this piece.

Gotta Stuff ‘Em All: Pikachu Mouse Taxidermy

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taxidermy pikachu
This stuffed Pikachu mouse is going to look great next to your stuffed Ash squirrel. I’m assuming you have one already. He’s a little stiff, but he’s ready to fight for you in the Pokemon tournaments.

I don’t know much about Pokemon, but I’m pretty sure they should do more than stand there being dead. Maybe he’s just playing possum so he can lure his enemy in real close, then he’ll kick Squirtle in the nads. I’m hoping it’s Squirtle anyway. Can’t stand that guy. Does he even squirt? If he does, that’s nasty. Finish him Pikachu!

Skull Business Card Holder

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skull business card holder
This skull business card holder is perfect for undertakers and such. It really makes an impression and insures that they won’t just throw out your card when they leave. Nothing says repeat business like cards in a human skull.

The cards really should have a brain design though. And the person should have to reach deep into the skull to get one and get their hand all squishy and wet. See, this is why my businesses never get off the ground.