Tag: choker

Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

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Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

For the refined lady with a touch of darkness. I present to you the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker. You are refined and intelligent, regal. But you long for the vampire’s breath gently caressing your neck, suddenly growing hot as he bares his teeth and goes in for the bite. At first, the pain is unbearable, but quickly becomes ecstatic. Your essence rushes out, pumped by his lustful need- Oh shizz, I was saying that out loud as I typed and now everyone at the library is looking at me. Hey, it’s where I write sometimes. That librarian must have dry lips. She keeps licking them as she watches me. Get some ChapStick freak!

Anyway, if you crave the excitement of vampiric exsanguination, but lack either a nearby vampire or good looks, this Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker is the next best thing. Look at that sophisticated and stylish splatter. Sexy! Now that’s a necklace!

Grim Reaper Scythe Choker Necklace – Why So Grim?

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Grim Reaper Scythe Choker Necklace
This Grim Reaper Scythe Choker Necklace won’t give you the power over who lives and who dies, but it will get you noticed. (Hopefully not by the reaper himself. You don’t want to be noticed by him.) And also make people keep their distance from you. It’s the Grim Reaper‘s weapon of choice right there on your chest as a cool and creepy accessory. Why is he so grim anyway? Seems like a sweet job. Kind of a breeze. Some people are just grumpy and never happy.

You have a list of names and you use that list to shuffle folks off of this mortal coil while holding your Grim Reaper Scythe. Some people are never happy. I guess there’s no room for promotion though. Hey, I’m in the bidness and I just got promoted. And I’m aiming to take his job. I’ll be the happy reap- Wait! Who shouted “bum reaper”? No respect! Now you are on my list. You are the first one. Congratulations. I hope you like a scythe where the sun don’t shine. Anyone else? Huh? Does anyone else have anything to say? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Man I really hate this job already.

 

Bat Wing Choker Collar

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Bat Wing Choker Collar
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wondered what it would look like if a bat tried to choke me out. Now I know. This Bat Wing Choker Collar is the coolest collar ever. All dress shirts should have bat collars. It’s hauntingly fashionable. I hope there’s no bat head in back, biting your neck. It would be awesome if the wings flapped for air conditioning.

Shark Bite Choker Chokes You, Bites Others

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Shark Bite Choker
This Shark Bite Choker looks pretty badass, but all I can think about is some woman kissing a guy while the shark bites a hole in his neck. Now that’s an authentic choker. It not only chokes, but it also takes a mini shark-sized hole out of you. No thanks. If you wanna kiss me, you best remove jaws there.

Stunning Gothic Skull and Rose Lace Choker

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Skull and Rose Lace Choker
This Skull and Rose Lace Choker is a terrifying accessory for a terrifying, but beautiful woman. I’m just assuming. It has a fine black rose lace base with a huge black skull that has red glass crystal eyes, wearing a crown of chains. It’s what everyone is Transylvania is wearing this season. Again, I’m just assuming. You can say to people, “Hey, my skull is up here.” That will be fun.