Tag: bloody

Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

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Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker

For the refined lady with a touch of darkness. I present to you the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker. You are refined and intelligent, regal. But you long for the vampire’s breath gently caressing your neck, suddenly growing hot as he bares his teeth and goes in for the bite. At first, the pain is unbearable, but quickly becomes ecstatic. Your essence rushes out, pumped by his lustful need- Oh shizz, I was saying that out loud as I typed and now everyone at the library is looking at me. Hey, it’s where I write sometimes. That librarian must have dry lips. She keeps licking them as she watches me. Get some ChapStick freak!

Anyway, if you crave the excitement of vampiric exsanguination, but lack either a nearby vampire or good looks, this Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker is the next best thing. Look at that sophisticated and stylish splatter. Sexy! Now that’s a necklace!

Bloody Kidney Soap

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Bloody Kidney Soap
Lather up and bath in the blood of a kidney. Get nice and clean, yet feel dirty, like some surgeon working out of a back alley, who takes his bloody work home and washes his naughty bits with it. It’s Bloody Kidney Soap. Yay? Looks authentic.I wonder if it smells authentic. Probably not since you don’t want a soap that tastes like urine.

Zombie Cubes: Zombies Squared!

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zombie cubes
Stack up some Zombie Cubes and build a cool Zombie fort. Fun fact of the day and behind the scenes tidbit: I almost typed Zombie Pubes. Was gonna leave it, but then I figured zombie pubes are probably the first thing to fall out once you get bitten by an undead psychopath. If they don’t need ’em on their privates, I don’t need ’em in my paragraph.

These little cubes are hand painted and each zombie has its’ own personality. Squished it, toss it, stack them up and knock them down. Just like a real zombie, no matter how much abuse you throw at these, they will retain their original shape, even if crushed. Stack’em, whack’em, thwack ’em, straight up attack ’em. Pubeless monsters!

Zombie M & M’s And Zombie Good & Plenty T-Shirts

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zombie candy t shirt
Your favorite Halloween candies are now Zombies thanks to Etsy seller wardrobetheglobe. FYI: I tried wardrobing the globe once, but I kept having to undo that Hawaiian shirt anytime I wanted to see learn about the world.

We have zombie M & M’s (The peanut variety) and zombie Good and Plenty. This candy bites back! I always wanted to dress up as undead candy. Heh. Undead Candy. Sounds like a stripper putting on a Halloween show, but that may just be my meds kicking in.
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Undead Tooth Plush

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Undead Tooth Plush
There’s nothing worse than an undead tooth creeping around your house, probably pissed off because you used some string attached to a door handle to yank it out. Now it just floats around in ghost form and torments you.

Makes my mouth hurt just looking at this bloody disgusting thing. I’d tell it to go toward the light, but it already did that when it left my head. Where’d you go Tooth? I got a water pistol full of listerine. If I can’t get a dentist to exercise you, I’m gonna at least get all the funk off ya!