These Roses don’t have thorns, but they do have teeth and eyes. So they can see you and can bite you. This is why I don’t garden people. Well, that and did you know that gardens are full of bugs? Yuck. These murderous roses make a great gift for anyone who wants a gruesome garden.
Rotten Rose was a truck-stop floozy,
She’d treat ya right if ya could get her boozy.
I’ll just stop there.
Read more “Rotten Roses Have Teeth And Eyes”
Wig out with the Wig Head Vase. It will let you make funny hairdos out of your flowers and plants. It’s basically like an upscale Chia Pet. Sure, you could use these head vases to decorate your house, but I would use ’em different, cuz I’m a rebel like that.
I would arrange all my plants on the mannequin head there and then glue them all to the head. Wait two hours. Then peel them all off and wear it my own damn self. Cuz these hairdos look good.
Bullet Bouquets. They boom when they bloom. But enough of that gloom and doom. Artist Anthony Zambai and wife create these Bullet Bouquets. Bang bang, bloom bloom. Flower power. Each bouquet is made of authentic, spent hollow point bullets. They are sold as tiny pots of 3 to 12 “buds”. Hey bud. Boom.
They make great gifts. Nothing says I love you like spent ammunition that you “spent” your money on. These bullets could have been used to kill a living thing, but instead, I present them to you as flowers. Please love me. I’m so alone and my impending mortality scares me.