Tag: mannequin

Alien Man In Black Mannequin

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Alien Man In Black Mannequin
You could have this Alien Man In Black Mannequin in the corner of your room, protecting his pee-pee with his white-gloved hands and hoping that he is invisible. So is it a man in black or an alien? Make up your damn mind. And get your hands off your junk. This is what I want in a butler by the way.

Alien.
Well-dressed.
Stand in the corner and shut your abduction-hole.
Hide that boner!

Until I ring the bell. Then bring me my food biatch! You better cut that Snickers properly this time so I can eat it with a fork.

Mannequin Soap: Now That’s Body Wash

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Mannequin Soap
Mannequin Soap. Touch that body. Work that body. Lather up that body. I like to use it until the booby mounds wear down, thereby changing the gender of the mannequin. I’ll have 200 please! Gonna put them all over my bathroom so people think I’m a serial killer.

“Where are the bodies you sick son of a-”

*Shrugs* All over my bathroom. You’ve seen ’em.”

“You wise-ass! Where did you dump them? I’m gonna see that you rot. Gonna make sure you get the death sentence.”

“Whoa! Hang on a second! For washing my hands with tiny mannequins? Good thing you guy’s didn’t see my wall of newspaper clippings and string flowcharts illustrating the takeover of our government by reptoid aliens who killed JFK and make crop circles for fun. Uh-oh… My right to be silent isn’t working. Obviously. Look, I’m just weird. I like weird soaps. Not the daytime variety though. Speaking of, shouldn’t a soap opera be lots of bubbles and a fat lady singing? See why the world is confusing for me? Are we done? It’s almost my nappy time.”

Horrifying: Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin

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Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin

GAHHHHHH! Kill it! It’s all hairy and looks like a lumberjack, but smells like a girl! This Male With Human Hair Beard Hairdressing Mannequin nearly gave me a heart attack! He/she looks just as surprised as I was! I was just checking out Amazon and things got all hairy!

Hey, how does this thing give you the time? It checks it’s sasqwatch.

But no. I can’t look at it anymore. This is me slowly backing away. Then running like an olympian.

Mannequin Head Wearing Man-Antlers

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manequin wearing taxidermy antlers
Check out this awesome set of man antlers that you can wear. Actually it’s a Mannequin Head Wearing Man-Antlers that you can decorate with.

I would pop these babies off that head and glue them to my own dome. Then I would stamp my feet and scratch at the floor with one foot while I snort. After that, it’s me against the wall. Then after that it’s me glued to a pair of man-antlers that are stuck in the wall. On the plus side, the apartment next door has a new coat rack.

Wig Head Vase

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wig head vase
Wig out with the Wig Head Vase. It will let you make funny hairdos out of your flowers and plants. It’s basically like an upscale Chia Pet. Sure, you could use these head vases to decorate your house, but I would use ’em different, cuz I’m a rebel like that.

I would arrange all my plants on the mannequin head there and then glue them all to the head. Wait two hours. Then peel them all off and wear it my own damn self. Cuz these hairdos look good.