Tag: gift

Bat Ouija Board – Go Batty Summoning Spirits

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Bat Ouija Board - Go Batty Summoning Spirits
Check out this Bat Ouija Board. Now you can summon bat spirits as well as human spirits. I’m guessing. Not that you’ll get any answers from bats since it will all come out as E-E-K and E-E-E-E-K. Thanks for the wisdom guys. Did you just phantom guano on my shoulder? Yeah, that’s ectoplasmic bat scat, alright. I wonder if you can summon Batman with this thing. It would probably just tell me I had the wrong number. But you know me, I’ll keep trying until it blocks me.

This Ouija board will look awesome in a seance room or any room or belfry. Perfect for Halloween too. Go batty with it. I hope you talk to some chatty batties. Does it actually summon bats? Like some Jedi-Master spirit bat that can impart wisdom. Because that isn’t hard to do. Heck, I can summon a wise old bat without a spirit board. I’ll just call my mother. Whoa. Wait a minute… Is that what a motherboard is? Is it a board that summons mothers? That could be good, because there are definitely some milfs I’d like to summon if you know what I’m saying and I think you do. Check out more spirit boards.

Amazing Modern Skull Mirror

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Amazing Modern Skull Mirror
This Modern Skull Mirror looks badass. How do I look today? Let me consult the great and powerful skull mirror. This bit of home decor will add a touch of gothic style to your home. Whether you dwell in haunted house or a non-haunted abode, it’s an awesome upgrade.  It’s made in Italy, so you know it’s good. They’ll tell you themselves. With their hands. Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest one of all? It’s me, isn’t it? Gotta be me. Not bragging or anything. Just stating facts. I’m so vain. I probably think this post is about me. I’m so vain. Whereas old people are more vein. They are full of them in fact and you can see them. Ew! I do gaze into this gothic bat mirror a lot, though. It drives me batty, but I have to have a look to see if I look bat-ter than ever. Anywho, this cool mirror is going to make your home look badass my friend. It’s gothic chic and creepy cool. If you ain’t got this amazing mirror you just ain’t cool. You will be using a reflective skull to check out your own skull. That’s a win/win.

Creepy Cool YES NO Coin – Flip To Let Fate Decide

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Creepy Cool YES/NO Coin - Flip To Let Fate Decide
Life’s decisions can be tough. Should I eat that entire bag of chips or not? Should I crap in my marital bed like Amber Turd? Should I let yet another spider bite me in the hopes that I will get super powers? Life is just too complicated and I ain’t got the time or energy for making good decisions. I’ll leave it up to this Creepy Cool YES NO Coin.

Flip it. Flip it good.
Should I doo-doo on the lawn?
You must flip it.
Should I shake around my dong?
You must flip it.
It will tell you what to do.
When you flip it.
Should I paint my hamster blue?
Better flip it.

That’s the DEVO commercial for this coin in case you were wondering. Speaking of flipping things like this YES NO Coin, check out the Brains and Teeth Flip Lighters. I mean, since you like to flip things. It seems like you might have a problem. You should see someone about that. And no, I’m not trying to be flippant here. I’m genuinely flippin’ concerned about you. Look, I’m just trying to help. I’m not trying to take the coin away from you. Calm down okay?

Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone – AT & Tongue

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Freddy Krueger's Tongue Phone - AT & Tongue
Remember Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone from that one Nightmare on Elm Street movie? Of course, you do. This dude is the dream master and he knows how to create the most f***ed up nightmares that will haunt you forever. This is one of those things. You just can’t unsee it. I’m not being tongue in cheek, but I bet it uses the AT & Tongue network. Maybe T-Mobile cuz I always wondered what the T stood for. Definitely not the Mint network cuz this thing does not taste like a mint while it tries to get in your mouth. In fact, it could use a mint or four. We are gonna need a bigger tin of Altoids. Freddy wants to give you a good tongue lashing. A french Freddy kiss if you will. Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone is all about that tongue action. I think this disturbing Freddy Krueger doll is the same way.

Imagine trying to actually have a conversation on this phone while that thing is licking and lashing to and fro. Maybe you could give it some hard candy to keep it occupied. That way you can flap your gums and it can flap itself all it wants.

Coffin Zen Garden

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Coffin Zen Garden
This Coffin Zen Garden will bring some calm into your life. After all who doesn’t want to play around with some sand in an open coffin? It comes with everything you need to have a good time. Like headstones, a gargoyle, a skull and a shovel. Now when somebody tells me to go pound sand I can actually do it and get more Zen at the same time. This also looks like it would be great for burying your action figures. So you can give GI Joe that proper sendoff.

If you like this coffin zen garden you’ll love the bleeding coffin candle.