Tag: coin

Creepy Cool YES NO Coin – Flip To Let Fate Decide

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Creepy Cool YES/NO Coin - Flip To Let Fate Decide
Life’s decisions can be tough. Should I eat that entire bag of chips or not? Should I crap in my marital bed like Amber Turd? Should I let yet another spider bite me in the hopes that I will get super powers? Life is just too complicated and I ain’t got the time or energy for making good decisions. I’ll leave it up to this Creepy Cool YES NO Coin.

Flip it. Flip it good.
Should I doo-doo on the lawn?
You must flip it.
Should I shake around my dong?
You must flip it.
It will tell you what to do.
When you flip it.
Should I paint my hamster blue?
Better flip it.

That’s the DEVO commercial for this coin in case you were wondering. Speaking of flipping things like this YES NO Coin, check out the Brains and Teeth Flip Lighters. I mean, since you like to flip things. It seems like you might have a problem. You should see someone about that. And no, I’m not trying to be flippant here. I’m genuinely flippin’ concerned about you. Look, I’m just trying to help. I’m not trying to take the coin away from you. Calm down okay?

Canadian UFO Event Depicted on New Coins

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Canadian UFO Event Depicted on New Coins
Sometimes UFOs abduct people and they take a poop sample. Why? No idea. Probably just another damn fetish. Their ships probably smell like ass. Let that sink in. Intergalactic ships just cruising through the galaxy smelling like ass. No air freshener in sight. Anywho, the Royal Canadian Mint has unveiled a new coin that celebrates a legendary UFO encounter in Manitoba. Way to go Canadians. You are celebrating some dude’s rectal exam.

The incident is known as the ‘Falcon Lake UFO event’ and it occurred in 1967 when Stefan Michalak spotted a pair of flying saucers while he was searching for precious metals and gems. Turns out the aliens were searching for precious metals and gems too. In his heinie-hole. I’m just guessing that’s what happened, cuz it always does.

So Canada is celebrating this on a new coin. I don’t have the heart to tell them that coins are typically round.

via CBC

Grinding Skeleton Piggy Bank Money Box

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Grinding Skeleton Piggy Bank
This Grinding Skeleton Piggy Bank makes saving money weird and fun. He’s not grinding like rubbing up against you on the dance floor. I think he might be grinding herbs if you know what I mean. I have no idea. It’s just fun to see a skeleton do stuff while you get rich one coin at a time. When you put in a coin, the skeleton will move and emit “horrible ghost cries”. That sold me.

Holy Mackerel: Fish Zipper Pouch / Coin Purse

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Holy Mackerel Fish Zipper Pouch Coin Purse
Holy Mackerel. This Fish Zipper Pouch is exactly what I need when I go fish shopping.

“That will be $45 sir.” (I buy a lot of fish.) “I see a fish sticking out of your pocket sir! Did you steal that?”

“$45.That’s an outrage!” *Pulls my fish pouch out and slaps her with it.* Whoops! That didn’t make the squishy sound I expected on your face. Of course, I didn’t steal this one. It’s a pouch. I stole this one!”

*Whips a fish out of my other pocket and slaps her with it. Runs for the exit.*
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Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels

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Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels
Don’t spend these Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels all in one place. What’s a hobo nickel? I guess it’s what you pay hobos for doing hobo stuff. I’m gonna be a hobo so I can get some of these cool nickels. Gonna ride the rails all day, look all dirty, carry a knapsack and every Friday and go to the hobo payment center where I’m gonna collect all of the nickels. Sweet! People are always calling me a hobo anyway.

That’s not what we call you?

Really? What is that name you guys are always calling me?

You’ll figure it out. Use your rhyming skills.

Well I- Ohhhhhhh. I get it…. Do they have nickels too?
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