Tag: golf

You Shouldn’t Putt Where You Poop: EZ Drinker Toilet Golf

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

toilet golf
The EZ Drinker Toilet Golf game is all about being able to enjoy a round of golf, instead of missing out because you are on the toilet all day trying to evacuate turd citizens from the natural disaster that is your colon. EZ Drinker? What does that mean? Easy there drinker. Don’t golf where you s**t!

This potty game makes the act of pooping even more rewarding. Forget eating extra fiber. Stay awhile and enjoy the green. I had this for like a week before I missed the toilet and added a yellow lake in the green. What can I say? My aim was off. The cats have added some litter and made a little sand trap too, complete with logs. Fun game, but it’s starting to smell super nasty.

Ultimate Golfer Side Table With Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

golfer table lampOh Ebay. Does your craziness know no bounds? No. It obviously does not. This bit of geriatric-inspired furniture is a $75 Golfer table lamp. The bottom part looks just like any old timer wiling away his retirement, while the top gives you a view of the green.

If it starts walking toward me, I’m clubbing it with it’s own golf club. Just saying. Where I come from, if you see pants like those approaching you, you yell stranger danger real effin’ loud, otherwise you end up in the back of a van sucking on a lolipop, singing row-row-row-your-boat with funny pants man at the wheel, as tears stream down your face.

Happened to me just last week, but never again! I buy my candy like everyone else now.
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