Tag: potty humor

Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit

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Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit
The Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit lets you put any face you want on a urinal cake. At last, I will pee on the faces of those who have wronged me. Talk about a toxic avenger. Like that guy who gave me a hassle at the grocery store the other day when I told him I didn’t need a bag for my 1 item purchase. Take a bag. No thanks. You gotta have a bag. That’s okay. But it’s store policy. You don’t want someone to think you stole it. They won’t. I have a receipt. And you know I paid. Back off already. Damn kid. It ain’t worth the coronary strain that’s gonna cause your pizza face to erupt like a thousand tiny volcanoes. Chill already. I spent like five minutes arguing.

Yeah, that guy. Eff That guy. I’d like to sneak a pic of his face with my phone and put it on a urinal cake. *Peeing after like 50 drinks.* Now who wants a bag? I bet you want a bag, don’t you? Have a bag! Well you’re not getting a bag. Just pee! It’s raining pee, hallelujah it’s raining pee. Amen! Stick that in your bag you little-

I hate that guy.

Poop Monster

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

Poop Monster
I think we’ve all seen these guys. You’re minding your own business eating like your 10th taco when suddenly you start to cramp and have to make a run for the border. You strain, you curse, you do that fast pregnancy breathing thing and boom, next thing you know you drop a Poop Monster. Mine usually looks sad and waves his stumpy poop arms at me before I flush and whisk him away to the land of fecal enchantment.

Toilet Yoga Book

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Toilet Yoga Book
Finally, something to keep me occupied while I’m laying pipe. This Toilet Yoga Book titled “Toilet Yoga (Because Sometimes Sh*t Doesn’t Happen)“, will help you get your business done. It’s full of poses that will help you poop if you’re having trouble launching a Cleveland steamer. It goes well with the Squatty Potty.

I’m guessing some of those poses have names like Downward Facing Dookie, or the Caca Cobra. This book might just help me to reach a place of zen. Rather than my usual place of grunting and cursing like a sailor.

Goosh Yourself With Goosh Pants

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Goosh Yourself With Goosh Pants
Goosh. It means “The undesired oozing of any substance, such as jelly in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” Example: This peanut butter and jelly sandwich just gooshed all over me! Well, these Goosh Pants aren’t oozing PB and J. Looks more like truffle butter to me, but I’m no expert.

These pants are gooshing in the front and gooshing in the back. Duck duck goosh baby! Dude looks like a walking Rorschach test. That’s me by the time laundry day comes around again. I really need to have more than two pair of pants.

Pee & Poo Plush Dolls Are Best Buds

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pee & poo plush toys
Pee and Poo. They’re a stinky bowl of best buds. Aren’t these Pee & Poo Plush Dolls cute? Hug ’em, squeeze ’em, rub ’em, against each other and see what rubs off. If they are anything like the real thing, you’ll play with the pee several times a day and be lucky to see poo once every other and he’ll make it really difficult for you to let him go.

It’s the only acceptable way to play with pee and poo, so go for it. All of your other toys will be disgusted.
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