Just what I always wanted to display on my mantle. A mouse taking a dump. This Taxidermy Toilet Mouse is on the john, reading about Godzilla attacking. Probably taking himself a massive Godzilla cuz he had Mexican food earlier. He’s got himself a fresh roll of TP nearby, so at least he’s not gonna run out if he has the Hershey squirts. It would be nice if the mice around my house would use the damn toilet and stop leaving their tiny turds everywhere.
Tag: toilet
Skeletons On The Toilet Figurines
This skeleton looks mad as hell. Like he’s having trouble dropping his payload. So he decided to check out the internet on an old ass big laptop. Yep, Skeletons On The Toilet Figurines are a thing. I need this for my shelf. It’s a reminder to have more fiber in your diet if nothing else, whether you’re a skeleton or not. I think he needs the Squatty Potty.
Ugly Face Toilet Plunger Cover
Check out this Ugly Face Toilet Plunger Cover. Dude, your face is so ugly I want to stick a toilet plunger in it. I bet this guy has heard that a million times. He’s got a face so ugly only a toilet plunger could love it. I guess that means he has a potty mouth. Honestly, this guy doesn’t look too bright, so he probably doesn’t mind getting rammed by a toilet plunger. I don’t even know the guy and I want to shove one in his head.
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Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace
This is the kind of bling I’m looking for. A Miniature Gold Toilet With Opening Lid Necklace. I bet it even has a little diamond poop inside too. I always wanted a gold toilet, so I could show it to all the peeps on MTV cribs when they come to check out my sweet Hollywood mansion. Obviously that never happened, but at least I can wear this cool gold commode and pretend.
Toilet bling. That’s what I’m talking about. Now do I put the picture of a loved one inside the lid or someone I hate?
Toilet Yoga Book
Finally, something to keep me occupied while I’m laying pipe. This Toilet Yoga Book titled “Toilet Yoga (Because Sometimes Sh*t Doesn’t Happen)“, will help you get your business done. It’s full of poses that will help you poop if you’re having trouble launching a Cleveland steamer. It goes well with the Squatty Potty.
I’m guessing some of those poses have names like Downward Facing Dookie, or the Caca Cobra. This book might just help me to reach a place of zen. Rather than my usual place of grunting and cursing like a sailor.