Unhand my napkins you bony biatch! Seriously though, this Skeleton Hand Napkin Holder will come in handy at dinner time. It takes a very hands on approach. It’s doing a great job, so everybody give it a hand. Okay, enough hand jokes. I’ve said the word hand so many times that you would think I was getting paid to say it. Like I got a hand job or something. Well, that didn’t sound right. I’m just gonna quit while I’m ahead. Enjoy your awesome new napkin holder.
Tag: halloween
Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds
Make the walking dead the freezing dead with these Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds. Look, zombies want to eat you, so I say we eat them first. Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck! Heh. That’s my new insult. If someone says something I don’t like, I’m yelling, “Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck!” I’m hoping it really takes off and becomes something New Yorkers yell at each other every day.
Seriously though, these Popsicle molds are awesome. I’m gonna go make some delicious zombie treats now. Don’t let the door hit you… You shut up! You shut it right now! Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck!
Gold Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Necklace
This is one shiny Day of the Dead Sugar Skull Necklace. Bling bling motha truckas! I’m offended cuz I’m a mother who is also a trucker! Oh well ya can’t please everyone. There are more offended people these days then you can shake a dead cat at. I’m calling PETA! Please do, I love their bread. You bastard! Is that a comment about my yeast infection? You woman hating freak. And also, you’re racist. Everybody just calm down. I just wanted to show you this sweet necklace. Damn. Everyone just needs to calm the eff down.
Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards
What’s this? Someone sent me a greeting card! How thoughtful. Oh wait. It’s one of those Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards. Not sure if I should be depressed or not. Send these to both your friends and your foes. On the front it says “This message will self-disturb in two seconds”. Then you write whatever you want inside. Pretty awesome and kinda twisted, which is just the way we like it around here. Don’t forget about the company’s actual Misfortune Cookies either. So dark and tasty. Give ’em as a gift and send them a card with it. Perfect.
Creepy Miniature Head In A Jar Pendants
If I could I would collect the heads of my enemies, shrink them down and wear them as miniature head in a jar pendants. I’d be like Mr. T only creepier. Well, these are not my enemies, but it’s a start. I wonder if they offer heads in a can. I just find that they keep better with less spoilage. Maybe in a ziploc? Heck, just wrap them in foil. I need variety in my miniature heads. Speaking of heads in a box, check out ole general custer.