Tag: horror

Custom Skull Sneakers

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Custom Skull Sneakers
Check out these Custom Skull Sneakers. Kicks that are sick! They have 3D skulls on them. What is going on over at Nike?

Nike worker: I’ll just put a little LSD in the water.

Nike designer: Oh man, I have so many ideas. Talk me down man, Talk me down. Skulls. It’s all about the skulls. We can use a special gel so the shoes will burn and flame and be on fire all of the time. We’ll call them Ghost Riders. How about a design that drips paint down these sneakers all day long? Kind of like the world before me that makes me want to claw my eyes out. The monkey in my head won’t let me be! Maybe just put the skulls on for now.
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Custom Horror Hand Towels

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Custom Horror Hand Towels
Until I saw these, I thought I was the king of Custom Horror Hand Towels. Of course mine were created by neglect and never washing them. And lots and lots of mold. These are much nicer. They feature embroidered images of Michael Myers, Jason, Freddy Krueger and The Shining. The real horror is germs people. Don’t be like me. Man,I can’t wait to wipe my hands on Freddy’s smug face. I’m so sick of that guy invading my dreams.

The Ring Movie Bookmark – Oh Hells No! No Way!

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The Ring Movie Bookmark
No way I’m trusting this The Ring Movie Bookmark to hold my place in a book. Bizatch is gonna crawl outta my book like she already does my TV and cause all kinds of hell. All while looking and acting creepy. You need to take a shower and wash that damn hair,maybe put a nice dress on. You can’t complain you don’t have a guy when you aren’t even trying girl!

Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps May Save Your Life

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Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps
Do I need Vampire And Werewolf Repelling Soaps? Nah. I don’t need to repel vampires or werewolves with soap. I’m more like a werewolf who is repelled by soap itself. Whhhhhew! Things are getting rank around here. Anyway, these soaps are what you need to keep bloodsuckers and hairy beasts away. Each 3oz bar of anti-werewolf soap contains colloidal silver, holy water and rosemary. The vampire one has garlic and holy water in it. Just like garlic bread made fresh from the vatican!

via Geekologie

Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp

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Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp
You know the best part about this Vampire in Coffin Table Lamp? It showed me how to beat vampires. Just put a lamp over their coffin. That way they can’t get out. Cuz of the light.

That’s not sunlight dumbass.

*Mocks you* “That’s not sunlight.” Idiot. Where do you think light bulbs come from? They capture sunlight and put it in a bulb. Duh. That’s how light works. Here’s another fun fact: Even water from the Pope’s toilet is holy water and will kill most vampires. But that may just be cuz of germs.