Tag: horror

Bat Ouija Board – Go Batty Summoning Spirits

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Bat Ouija Board - Go Batty Summoning Spirits
Check out this Bat Ouija Board. Now you can summon bat spirits as well as human spirits. I’m guessing. Not that you’ll get any answers from bats since it will all come out as E-E-K and E-E-E-E-K. Thanks for the wisdom guys. Did you just phantom guano on my shoulder? Yeah, that’s ectoplasmic bat scat, alright. I wonder if you can summon Batman with this thing. It would probably just tell me I had the wrong number. But you know me, I’ll keep trying until it blocks me.

This Ouija board will look awesome in a seance room or any room or belfry. Perfect for Halloween too. Go batty with it. I hope you talk to some chatty batties. Does it actually summon bats? Like some Jedi-Master spirit bat that can impart wisdom. Because that isn’t hard to do. Heck, I can summon a wise old bat without a spirit board. I’ll just call my mother. Whoa. Wait a minute… Is that what a motherboard is? Is it a board that summons mothers? That could be good, because there are definitely some milfs I’d like to summon if you know what I’m saying and I think you do. Check out more spirit boards.

Amazing Modern Skull Mirror

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Amazing Modern Skull Mirror
This Modern Skull Mirror looks badass. How do I look today? Let me consult the great and powerful skull mirror. This bit of home decor will add a touch of gothic style to your home. Whether you dwell in haunted house or a non-haunted abode, it’s an awesome upgrade.  It’s made in Italy, so you know it’s good. They’ll tell you themselves. With their hands. Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest one of all? It’s me, isn’t it? Gotta be me. Not bragging or anything. Just stating facts. I’m so vain. I probably think this post is about me. I’m so vain. Whereas old people are more vein. They are full of them in fact and you can see them. Ew! I do gaze into this gothic bat mirror a lot, though. It drives me batty, but I have to have a look to see if I look bat-ter than ever. Anywho, this cool mirror is going to make your home look badass my friend. It’s gothic chic and creepy cool. If you ain’t got this amazing mirror you just ain’t cool. You will be using a reflective skull to check out your own skull. That’s a win/win.

Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone – AT & Tongue

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Freddy Krueger's Tongue Phone - AT & Tongue
Remember Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone from that one Nightmare on Elm Street movie? Of course, you do. This dude is the dream master and he knows how to create the most f***ed up nightmares that will haunt you forever. This is one of those things. You just can’t unsee it. I’m not being tongue in cheek, but I bet it uses the AT & Tongue network. Maybe T-Mobile cuz I always wondered what the T stood for. Definitely not the Mint network cuz this thing does not taste like a mint while it tries to get in your mouth. In fact, it could use a mint or four. We are gonna need a bigger tin of Altoids. Freddy wants to give you a good tongue lashing. A french Freddy kiss if you will. Freddy Krueger’s Tongue Phone is all about that tongue action. I think this disturbing Freddy Krueger doll is the same way.

Imagine trying to actually have a conversation on this phone while that thing is licking and lashing to and fro. Maybe you could give it some hard candy to keep it occupied. That way you can flap your gums and it can flap itself all it wants.

Coffin Office Chairs – Not R.I.P-Cliners

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Coffin Office Chairs - Not R.I.P-Cliners
Stuck in your dead end job? Is your workplace dead quiet? Is your CEO the Corpse Executive Officer? If any of those apply, these Coffin Office Chairs are for you. Perfect for that funeral home with a macabre sense of humor. Or if you are the Munsters or the Adams family. Just don’t fall asleep in these chairs, someone may cover you up with a matching coffin lid and toss you in the dirt. If you have these coffin office chairs in your office along with this coffin zen garden, you’ll have a great theme that will allow you to rest in peace. Which is a great thing during those long and super boring business meetings that could have been handled via email. God I hate those. You know what I mean? Because you feel half dead during those meetings anyway. Sadly it looks like the insides of these chairs are not as fancy and lush as that of the inside of a real coffin, which means they are not as comfortable as the real deal. If you’ve ever been in one, you know what I’m talking about. If you were lucky enough to get out again that is.

Via Technabob

Oh Hello Kitty OMFG!

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Oh Hello Kitty OMFG!
Oh Hello Kitty OMFG! This horrific kitty of nightmares is everyone’s favorite kitty, but all funked up! She’s cute, she’s cuddly, she’s… Carnivorous?She’s my murderer! Oh, holy crap! Hello Kitty has a new addition to her adorable face. Pink perky bow, adorable pointy ears, sweet little whiskers….What’s this? Those are monster tentacles! And an open mouth of death with crooked human teeth! Plus, strings of sticky, slimy drool! This horrific kitty beast needs some dental work, pronto. And, maybe a bib while we are at it. Is that drool? Damn girl, get a napkin at least. Control yourself, Hello Kitty! How do you feel about tentacles? She says that they are all the better to squeeze you with. Hello Kitty’s got three! Don’t get too close! I hear she does body cavity searches at with those things. Probably works at an airport.

At least I don’t see any claws on Hello Kitty like these rhinestone claw nail rings. That mouth is dangerous enough and I bet her whiskers are razor sharp. One thing is for sure, I will never look at this character the same way again. I also really hope that she doesn’t look at me. Ever. Just please don’t even notice me.