Skull Cigar Ashtray – Smoke ‘Em If Ya Got ‘Em

Skull Cigar Ashtray - Smoke 'Em If Ya Got 'Em
What noble creatures we humans are. We create, we reach for the stars, we- Did you just dump your cigar ash in that Skull Cigar Ashtray? Have you no shame sir? No decency? Some dude’s brain used to be in there. Oh well. I guess he ain’t using it.

I do need a candy dish and candy sure would look good in that cranium. An everlasting gobstopper in each eye hole would give him that surprised look. Then I could lick the eyeballs all day and hopefully not get caught. I don’t know though. This skull cigar ashtray is looking at me weird. He’s kind of an ash-hole.

Human Lower Jaw Phone Holder for Your iBone

Human Lower Jaw Phone Holder
Check out this Human Lower Jaw Phone Holder. You won’t get any jibber-jabber from it. You need both sections of the jaw for that. But it’s going to look awesome holding your smartphone. This smartphone holder comes in several colors, and all look badass. Perfect for your Apple iBone. So quit flapping your jaw and buy one so you can have a jaw bone on your desk. Isn’t that what we all aspire to? Yes. Yes it is. That and taking a bath with Alien Cat bath bombs. I’m living the life.

Rat Clock – It’s Half Past Horror

Rat Clock - It's Half Past Horror
Hickory Dickory Dock, a rat just died in my clock. So that’s where that smell is from. Now I have a rat clock. It is always rat o’clock. Why is it holding that baby? I have no idea. Must have snatched it and tried to make a getaway, but he was out of time. Speaking of the time, I have an appointment at half-past rat-a-twoey and it’s already 1:45. What time is it now? You know what they say. It’s half-past a rat’s ass and a quarter to his balls. Forever.

Rib Cage Earrings – Nice Ribs You Have There

Rib Cage Earrings
These Rib Cage Earrings let you wear your ribs on your ears. I’m not even ribbin’ you. Sorry, I took too much Nyquil and my mind is in a frog. Ribbit. Come to think of it, Rib Cage is an awesome name. Works for naughty movies, wrestling, and action heroes. A lot better than Nic Cage. And if that action hero is Scottish? He’s McRib Cage. Which is how they round up McRibs for those awesome sandwiches. I’m off to get more Nyquil.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Coasters

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Coasters
These Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Coasters are freaking me out man. Too terrifying. These tales are chilling, even blood curdling. Stories like… Tax time! *screams* Or… Your furnace is going to cost you 4 grand to fix! *sobbing on the floor. Make it stop. No more. No more.* Truly scary stories in the dark or in the light. Or even in candlelight. *shudders* Someone hold me.