Tag: rat

Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll

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Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll

Now you can have your very own Articulated Misfits Devil Rat Doll. Why the hell not? Like I don’t have enough problems without some Devil Rat doll coming to life and doing the freaky deeky all up in here. Sure its cool looking. Both cute and evil at the same time. But no good can come from this thing. I’ve had pets like this before, so I know what I’m talking about. Like that rat clock. It’s always terror time around here.

It is creepy cool. Plus he wont leave droppings everywhere like a real rat. You won’t have to say rats! and clean it up. Or drats. Or even bats. Or tell him yo scat! Get it? That’s some poop humor right there. Probably why I feel flushed. heh! I still got it.

Rat Clock – It’s Half Past Horror

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Rat Clock - It's Half Past Horror
Hickory Dickory Dock, a rat just died in my clock. So that’s where that smell is from. Now I have a rat clock. It is always rat o’clock. Why is it holding that baby? I have no idea. Must have snatched it and tried to make a getaway, but he was out of time. Speaking of the time, I have an appointment at half-past rat-a-twoey and it’s already 1:45. What time is it now? You know what they say. It’s half-past a rat’s ass and a quarter to his balls. Forever.

Wool Slippers With 3D Rats

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Wool Slippers With 3D Rats
These Wool Slippers With 3D Rats will keep your toes mice and cozy. Although your cat will never stop attacking your feet. Never. I’ve gone through like 6 pairs in 2 weeks. Now they all have holes in them and my cats are pooping wool. The rats here look good enough to be taxidermy. Pretty sweet.

Freaky Rat Worm Sighting

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Freaky Rat Worm Sighting
What the shizz! Check out this nightmarish mystery creature that resembles some kind of cross between a rat and worm. What is this nightmare? It ain’t nothing like your common rat. Some British woman noticed this freaky rat slithering around on her back porch, just chilling. I would have stomped on it but would be too afraid that a million tiny spiders would burst out and all attack me. I hope this woman had the good sense to move away from that house after seeing this thing.

The rat clock didn’t even tell me it was time for this weird nightmare. I’m not seeing the rat part myself, but maybe rats are different in Britain. I don’t know what this thing is, but I don’t want any part of it. Nope. Not the rat part and not the worm part. Does it have a knife? That looks like a blade. It looks like it’s ready to cut a b***h! Looks like a butter knife. I wonder if it waved that blade around to scare this British woman. This freaky rat is tough. From the streets for sure. The hood. I wonder what its gang name is. Probably the Knife Worms.
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Taxidermy Rat Toothbrush Holder / Plague Holder

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Taxidermy Rat Toothbrush Holder
The Taxidermy Rat Toothbrush Holder is my new favorite accessory. Keeping your teeth clean is important, so yeah, it makes total sense to store your toothbrushes in a nasty filthy disease carrier’s corpse. Why the hell not, since you already have the brushes touching each other’s bristles. That’s nasty! Maybe we should have the toothpaste coming out of its plague-carrying mouth too.