Damn, this Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Plant is terrifying. You can’t just buy this at your local grocery store. Otherwise, it would be called Freddy Kroger. Get it? That would be a pretty cool store mascot actually. Nightmare on aisle 5 yall! And also clean up. Cuz there’s a lot of blood. He actually looks like he’s about to do a cool dance number. Anyway, this Freddy plant is terrifying. Whether you have a green thumb or not, you gonna have no thumb after you water it. Maybe no hand or arm. All I know is that I’m glad that these Freddy Krueger plants don’t grow in the wild. I would be killing them with fire if they did. You hear that freddy? I’m not afraid of you. It’s true, I’m not afraid. I’m terrified beyond belief. They would probably only grow on Elm streets anyway. He is after all, the Nightmare On Elm Street. And every other street. You know, normally I pee on my plants to water them, cuz I’m eco-conscious and lazy, but I ain’t getting my junk anywhere near this thing.

 

Also check out this animated soul pizza. Souls are his favorite topping. Man-chovies if you will