Do you like to crochet? Do you want to be terrified and terrify others? This Terrifying Masked Man Crochet Pattern is just f**ked up. Do you want to see this guy coming at you? I don’t. Keep this crocheted killer away from me. Seriously, f**k this guy! He’s so scary in this single image that he should immediately have his own horror trilogy.
Tag: crochet
Rest In Peace Under This Queen Size Skull Crochet Blanket
This Queen Size Skull Crochet Blanket has more skulls than you can shake a guillotine at. Does that even make sense? I have no idea. I need a nap. This looks like a good blanket to take a nap in, just as long as it’s not your final resting place. Skulls everywhere. In many colors. It ticks off three boxes of the things I like best. Comfy. Cozy. Creepy.
Minty Poop Crochet Decorations
Oh yeah. Minty Poop happens to me all of the time. Sometimes from Wintergreen lifesavers, Peppermint Patties, Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. Minty poop is so refreshing. It’s like a minty effervescent ice cube coming out your butt. It’s the only poop that freshens the bathroom for you. And the colors. So pretty. Like minty poopy soft serve with faces.
Complete Set Of Crochet Plush Organs
Do you have a stuffed animal who is in need of immediate surgery and needs every organ transplanted? Thank God for this Complete Set Of Crochet Plush Organs. Now you can give your plush animals new life. Or you can just hang this entire set on your wall or something. Basically we are talking plush guts here. An entire torso worth of ’em. It’s all anatomically correct. I have to take their word for that cuz I’m not a stuffed animal doctor.
This is pretty cool and all, but what I really need is a replacement wiener for a Teddy Bear cuz mine didn’t come with one for some reason.
Baby Cat Cocoon – Crazy Cat Lady Training Tool
Say you want to be a crazy cat lady, but instead of a host of furry felines, all you have is a smooth skinned baby. No worries. You can turn that baby into a cat with the Baby Cat Cocoon and start practicing for when you have a hundred cats one day. Don’t forget to neglect your hygiene and eat plenty of lean cuisine and healthy choice frozen dinners. That shizz is mandatory for any crazy cat lady. And never address your child in English ever again. Instead meow at them and rub their tummy and stuff.