Tag: owl

Mysterious Sterling Silver Owl Ring

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Sterling Silver Owl Ring
Whooooo is that? Who? Who? It is the coolest sterling silver owl ring. That’s who. It is classically creepy. Owls are creatures of the night, swooping and gliding through by dark trees as they hunt their unsuspecting prey for a late night snack. Embrace your inner bird of prey with this beautiful ring! My, what big eyes you have! Huge eyes are one of the owl’s best features. These striking orbs can spot a tiny morsel from way high up in the air. Then they swoop down and their prey is eliminated. Beauty and brutality. Ain’t nature wonderful? Channel your inner owl with this cool ring and be the envy of owl your friends. I mean all. All your friends. Those eyes. So intense. Reminds me of my ex wife when she wants money. She doesn’t even need to wear one of these creepy owl masks. She was born with resting bird-of-prey face.

Yeah nature is all about beauty and death. Kind of like this site. If it’s in nature and it is cute, chances are it can kill you or at the very least injure you horribly. That’s why I steer clear of nature. I just don’t give a hoot.

Give A Hoot – Creepy Owl Masks

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Give A Hoot - Creepy Owl Masks
Each Halloween, people are always looking for creepier ways to freak their friends and family out, whether it be dressing up as killer clowns or using crazy makeup to look like the undead. These owl masks are creepy as hell. They look like an owl cult that wants to capture me and do rituals, but not before pecking me to death with their beaks. Imagine coming face to face with this down a dark alleyway. Catch your friends by surprise this Halloween by popping on this disturbing mask, maybe even throw in some sound effects to go with it. These quirky masks are hand made, lightweight, and adjustable and comfortable to wear.

Cthulhu Cat And Owl Cat Figurines

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cthulhu owl and cat
Cthulhu Cat and Owl Cat. These best mutant buds are cops that make their own rules. One is a loose cannon, the other is two weeks from retirement. And Cthulhu cat is getting too old for this shizz. These are the cats of the future right here. Fukushima was just the beginning. Felines are gonna evolve in all kinds of crazy ways. Just like my cat has evolved to eat all of the food off of my plate if I walk away for a minute. That’s a bad fluffy.

If you want something even weirder, the seller will make one just for you. Although I don’t know what’s weirder than H.P. Furcraft and Meow-Owl over here.
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Unreal Upchuck Owl Skeleton Kit

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unreal owl upchuck science kit
Hey, you wanna learn some science? Gather round kids and experience the wonder and majesty that is Owl barf. This Unreal Upchuck Owl Skeleton Kit will teach you all about the fact that owls eat other living things. And then puke their bones back up. Ain’t life beautiful?

Your kids will experience the thrill of dissecting owl puke and rebuilding skeletons. Apparently it’s all hypoallergenic and sanitary. As sanitary as owl puke can be. But first- *BWHOOOAAAAA* Sorry kids. As you can see, I had skittles and a bucket of KFC for lunch. As you can see, I like our owl friends am not afraid to eat the bones. Reconstruct this bucket of KFC and I’ll know you are ready for owl puke.
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Sometimes Her Arms Bend Back: Twin Peaks Laura Palmer Doll

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Laura PalmerTwin Peaks. Great place to visit. I wouldn’t want to live there though. Who am I kidding? I would live there just to eat the apple pie and drink the coffee. Speaking of TP(I mean Twin Peaks, not toilet paper), check out this $450. Laura Palmer doll from Etsy seller MisforMadness.

She comes all wrapped up in plastic, ready to throw in a lake and the box looks like her diary. Open it up and you see the red room. Pretty awesome. She even comes with an owl. You can check out more images below.

Fun fact. I used to date a woman called the log lady. They didn’t call her that because she carried around a piece of wood, but because she was always stacking logs like a lumberjack in the poop room. Went through two ceiling fans and a case of scented candles before I had to call it off. Such is life.
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