Tag: rug

Weird New Age Taxidermy Squirrel Rug With Glowing Crystal Crown

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

new age squirrelThis strange New Age Squirrel taxidermy rug is all you need to meditate, alleviate and resonate with otherworldly forces. Channel an ancient Atalantean priestess. Maybe even see into a past life. Ask the magic squirrel carcass a question and if it’s glowing crystal crown lights up, it means that the light entities roaming the astral plain have an answer for you.

The quartz crystal points embedded in this dead squirrel’s head are her “crown”, lit with LEDs from within. More images below.

I was new agey like you once, until I channeled Elvis. I knew I was successful when I squeezed cheeks and released a 40 second fart. Obviously it was the old fat Elvis. Smelled like a dump truck hauling rotten peanut butter and banana sandwiches. That’s enough to get anyone to put their magic crystals and pyramid hats away forever.
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Custom Monster Rug: Wipe Your Feet, Then Count Your Toes

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

monster rugThis custom monster rug is going to look sweet in my D and D themed nerd castle. I’m gonna tell people I killed it myself, with a buffed-up Dwarven bow and an invisibility ring. Phaw. Wasn’t even wearing the ring. Etsy seller DarkKnitsEtsy will make it custom, however you like. Then all you have to do is act like you were tough enough to bring the best down and impress your friends.

It already has a strip going down the back that makes it look like it was run over with a moped. Which in fact is a far more likely method of me killing a fierce beast.
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Miniature Mouse Skin Rug

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Miniature Mouse Skin RugNow you’re living in style. This miniature mouse skin rug will creep up your home. It’s not really big enough for your floor at just 6 inches long, but it makes a sweet coaster. Use it to send a clear message to any mice that want to invade your home. This is what happens to mice around these parts.

Attach a swiffer pad to the bottom for some weird serial killer cleaning. It is just $60. More shots after the break.
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