Oh Nessie, you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Nessie. Hey Nessie. He’s plush. He’s supernatural. Even Leonard Nimoy was in search of him. I’m talking about Nessie. The Loch Ness Monster. Here he is in Plush Loch Ness Monster form. You’ve just had a sighting! Better report that shizz and share your blurry pic. Yeah, looks like a log with fins to me. You can take a pic of your crummy breakfast for instagram, but you can’t photograph a majestic and mythic beast huh? Whatevs.

Oh Nessie, what a pity you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Nessie, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s plush like you Nessie
Oh, what you do Nessie, do Nessie
Don’t break my heart, Nessie.

Fun Fact: Nessie has a wife named bessie and likes to swim with his daughter Jesse. Can we spot them? Lesee… Damn, I should be a children’s writer. That’s where my skill level is anyway. I so rock the market of the under-developed mind. Takes one to know one.
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