Tag: shorts

I’m Not One To Brag Underwear

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

I'm Not One To Brag Underwear
I’m not one to brag, but check out my new underwear. Woo-Hoo. It’s got a ruler on it so I can do home improvement in my underwear. Gets sweaty and hot when you’re doing man stuff. Sometimes the cops come when you’re on the roof with a beer and a hammer.

You do know that’s not for measuring stuff when fixing the house right?

Huh? You’re just jealous of my cool new underwear.

It’s for measuring your wing-wang.

*Stops cold.* Really?

Why do you think the cops keep coming? It’s because you keep rubbing your junk against stuff to get measurements. Are you fixing the roof or dry humping it?

Fair enough. Also, I don’t think these are my size, cuz my wing-wang ain’t measuring up.

Incredible Hulk Shorts

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Incredible Hulk Shorts
Hey, look. Incredible Hulk shorts. Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. But that’s okay. I only really get angry when I see bad photoshops of the Hulk. Yeah, I’m pretty pissed right now.

*Eyes turn green. Doubled over in pain. Looks skyward as my insides burn. Muscles bulging.*

HULK SMASH! HULK TRY TO ORDER SHORTS ONLINE. ONLINE NO WORK WITH FIST IN IT! NOW HULK SAD! BECAUSE HULK’S JUNK SWINGING EVERYWHERE! HULK INDECENT!

Dinosaur Print Clothes: Jurassic Parka

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dinosaur clothes
I was looking for a kick-ass T-Rex pair of shorts one day when I spotted Etsy seller Hunterandfoxclothing’s dinosaur print clothes. Apparently they come in 3 sizes. Jurassic Small, Jurassic Park and Jurassic Stadium for those who are the size of a mastodon and really need to lay off the Coca Cola. Nothing is cooler than friggin’ dinosaurs in the jungle all over your body.

Choose from dresses, tunics, shorts, shirts and more. The only extinction level event you need to be concerned about is me buying them all up so I can wear them everywhere and roar like crazy. I’ll need to cut a hole for my tail though.
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