Tag: toad

The Watch Frog Sees Everything

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The Watch Frog Sees Everything
Why does this “watch frog” have it’s eye on me? You spying on me?

Just a lil-ribbit.

Okay cool. You didn’t see nothing right? Just a guy relaxing on a weeknight, watching some Netflix with a rubber chicken nearby. Anyway, watch that eye. You don’t wanna get frog-glaucoma. Hey, here’s a good one.

Why couldn’t the 1/8 Polish guy join the Polish military?

Cuz he was only a tad Pole. Hahahaha.

Nothing to say about that? Frog in your throat? I kid. I kid. Seriously though, stop watching me.*Pulls shade down and grabs rubber chicken.*

Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Grody

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Toad Horror Art Doll is Both Toady and Groady
Hey toady. You grody. To the max! This Toad Horror Art Doll is what happens when you think you’re a princess kissing a frog, but really you’re kissing a nasty toad. Hate when that happens. Look at that face honey child! I done toad you it was fugly. That tadpole turned a tad ugly. At least she’s all dressed up to meet a nice young man. Even though she never will. You can’t win if you don’t play.

Speaking of which, these scratch off tickets really suck. I’m almost at the end of this brick of 500 and I’m still broker than an ugly toad girl. I’m playing! I should win! WTF universe! WTF!? I don’t want to be writing this blog forever and looking at Princess Toadstool over here! She looks like toad stool alright!
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Monster Toad Head

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monster toad head
Ribbit! Hey, look. A giant Monster Toad Head. I should totally kiss it and turn it into a Prince. Just to end it’s imprisonment. *Smooches it’s slimy face.* Well, that didn’t work. He’s still a toad. *Looks in the mirror.* What the deuce?!?! I’m a Prince. And not some dude that’s next in line to run a kingdom. I’m Prince as in Raspberry Beret. The kind you buy from the second hand store. This is friggin’ awesome. *Adjusts my frilly shirt.*

I’m out guys. Tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 1999, which means I have to buy a flip-phone and get ready for Y2K.
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