Yep. That’s the guy who sucked the blood from my goat. Sorry officer, when I say it that way it sounds disgusting. Anywho, this Mounted Chupacabra Head is made from pulp and wood. Unlike the real thing, which is made in a government lab by scientists. The jaw is articulated, so you know, it can still suck. And it does. He looks like he’s making the orgasm face, so I’m guessing they shot him while doing the nasty.
Tag: mounted
Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook
This Raven Claw Wall Mounted Hook is gonna come in real handy. I’m gonna mount it low on the wall and use it to scratch my back. You can use it as a coat hook, a jewelry hanger, you can put a crystal ball in it’s talons and make it look all creepy. It’s awesome cuz it looks like a bird just punched through your wall and is trying to grab at you. Just be careful when installing it. You have to be very talon-tid. ha ha ha ha ha. Not really that funny, I know. You know what is funny? Hanging one of those fake scrotums you see on the back of pick-up trucks in it’s talons. I am such an awesome interior designer! No need to thank me.
Mounted Vampire Bat Head
This Mounted Vampire Bat Head looks good on my wall. I just like that-
*Ding-Dong*
Oh, my pen-pal has arrived from Transylvania. We’ve been writing each other for like 4 years. It will be so good to meet him.
*Opens door*
Good even-ing! I am Count Tofour. You must be the fat blogger I write to for amusement.
Sure am. Here, sit down. Dinner is almost ready. Nice to meet you Count.
Watt is this Bat head zat is mounted on wall? This I do not like. It offends me. Tell me, you are truly tested for clean blood as you said in your letter?
Oh yeah. Clean bill of- AHHHH Get off me.
How dare you decorate with the head of my brethren! I come long way for snack. You are, how you say? Big fat buffet! *Sinks teeth in.*
Pink Mounted Werewolf Head
What can I tell ya. It was the 90s. There was a rave. A Werewolf attacked. So I took the pacifier out of my mouth, shoved my lightstick down it’s throat along with some X and this guy got less bloodthirsty. He’s all like, I wuv you man. I weally weally wuv you. I ever tell you that?” We partied all night then I took his head and decorated my house with this Pink Mounted Werewolf Head.
He’ll never raid a rave on a full moon again!
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Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies
I’m really digging these Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies, but I want to request a Tickle Me Elmo version, to see what Elmo would look like after I tickled him with a shotgun out in the wild. I’d also like to see some of those Fraggle Rock dudes mounted on my wall. Puppets and I have a weird history. A weird and bloody history. *Shudders.*
The seller has several. But no Elmo damnit! They make great coat racks. Things are creeping me out.
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