Tag: toy

Custom Furby Dolls – A Nightmare Evolved

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Custom Furby Dolls - A Nightmare Evolved
These are some creepy dolls. Don’t be fooled by Etsy shop PlushieCouture‘s cute name. Within their shop, you will find nightmares of the Furby variety. Like these Custom Furby Dolls. These are pure nightmare fuel. I thought run-of-the-mill(mouth) Furby’s were scary, but they are nothing compared to these hell-spawned creatures. Things get so much scarier when you put a Furby’s face on another body. Check out the shop and never sleep again if you have this toy in the house. Any of these toys. I know that I’m not sleeping any time soon. No way.

They have robot versions, worms, birds, Woody from Toy Story, He-Man, cats, gorillas, and more. There’s a custom Furby for everyone. These people love being Dr. Frankenstein to these creatures. All with that creepy Furby face that instills fear into the hearts of men. I’m actually cowering in a corner and crying as I write this. I can’t unsee it. So I share my terror with you. You’re welcome. We are all doomed. To be fair, crying in the corner is not unusual for me. Is it weird that I find that lady Furby above kinda sexy? Be honest, I know I have problems.

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E.L.F.s Balls – Evil Has Never Been So Round

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E.L.F.s Balls - Evil Has Never Been So Round
E.L.F.s Balls. It’s not what it sounds like. Elf balls are usually frozen from the North Pole’s frigid temps and frequently need fondling by reindeer. That’s what I heard anyway on the elf nads subreddit.  E.L.F stands for Evil Little F**kers. And they sure are. Just look at ’em. You can play catch with ’em, roll ’em around on the floor or just admire their ugly evil faces. You know, this may just be what elf testes look like. I have no idea myself. *hides my copy of elven monthly* Only Santa knows for sure. Shame on you Santa. I knew you were a weird dude.

They’re balls, they’re elves, you can throw them, rub them if they swell, toss them around and laugh at the name. They will help your elf esteem for sure. E.L.F.s Balls. Sure to be the latest phenomenon. Don’t be a hater. Instead embrace the elven love, much like Christmas Elf Love. All I’m saying is to give peace a chance. And give these weird-ass balls a chance. Which, coincidentally is what I said when I met my first wife. Long story short, she did. She gave them a chance, then kicked them to the curb.

Nightmare on Elm Street – Freddy Krueger Mego Action Figure

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Nightmare on Elm Street - Freddy Krueger Mego Action Figure
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four. Freddy’s mom’s a wh**e. Yeah, I said it. What’s he gonna do, invade my dreams? Uh…. Oh sh*t! Well, I guess I’m staying up all night. This Freddy Krueger Mego Action Figure is straight from Englund. Robert Englund that is. The pizza-face likeness is amazing. It will give your toy sheld nightmares.

Vintage Looking Haunted Doll With Sound

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Vintage Looking Haunted Doll With Sound
Love scaring the ones around you? Have you always been a lover of all things creepy? Of course you are, that’s why you’re here. As Halloween approaches, you may be looking for some spooky décor to really bring out the holiday spirit and also scare the hell out of people. This Haunted Doll prop is sure to get the blood pumping and will give you the satisfaction of creeping out your guests! This doll comes with sound effects and takes AA batteries, which are included. The height is 15 inches. Kick off Halloween with a scream caused by a well-placed Haunted Doll! It says “Come play with me.” “I’m watching you.” and “You drop me and I broke and that made me angry.”

Custom Funko Pop Xenomorph Alien

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Custom Funko Pop Xenomorph Alien
You know Funko pops right? They’re pretty toys that don’t even look good most of the time. But this artist cured that problem. Behold the Custom Funko Pop Xenomorph Alien. Because screw cutesy alien toys. They should look disturbing even when cute. Don’t turn your back on this guy. Not even once.