This Edward Scissorhands Plush is much safer to have around than the real thing. I don’t need some dude whacking my ear off cuz he wanted to give me a haircut. Plus, every time he goes to flip someone the bird, he ends up slicing off a nose. Vincent Price was not the most brilliant guy. Giving someone scissors for hands is not a good idea. What was your next bright idea? Sally Syringe hands? Carl Clever C**k? What the hell is wrong with you?
Tag: toy
Living Dead Dolls Halloween Michael Myers Doll
Is this the cutest Halloween killer or what? This Living Dead Dolls Halloween Michael Myers Doll stands 10-inches tall and features 5 points of articulation. I think I can stop his killing spree, by getting through to him while he’s in child form. I’m gonna give him a mini Twix and see what happens. It might inspire him to actually trick or treat rather than you know, killing peeps on candy night.
Cosmo Sock Alien Plush
Awww. Look how cute the Cosmo Sock Alien Plush is. So adorable. Look at those hearts on their bodies. Hearts mean love. So when they forage around your fecal fortress with their special probes, they’re just loving on you. Hmmm. I guess that applies to some humans too. Don’t be fooled by these cute plushies. Aliens are dangerous! Never forget! I don’t even wear clean underwear anymore or wipe myself, cuz if they come for me, they’re gonna find a nasty surprise! Surprise alien mofos! Either clean me up or toss me back! Preferably both.
Pop It Pal – For Those Who Like Popping Zits
Do you like popping zits? Do you enjoy watching the pus ooze everywhere like a worm? Of course you do, cuz the human race is gross. If you can’t get enough zit popping action the Pop It Pal will be your new favorite toy. This thing comes in two skin tones to suit your preferences and the pus worms ooze out just like the real thing. You can buy pus refills and everything. I’m so done with you humanity. Now excuse me while I pop my own pimples that God (and greasy foods) gave me.
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Nightmare Before Christmas Jack and Zero Keyper Figure
It’s Jack Skellington! This Nightmare Before Christmas Jack and Zero Keyper Figure is a cool statue of Jack and Zero, with a cool twist. Cuz it also holds your keys. This way you will always know where your keys are and you won’t lose them. Is it Halloween? Is it Christmas? I have no friggin idea what this movie is trying to say, but I like the pretty pictures flying by my eyes. This statue is going to look sweet on your mantle. Even I couldn’t lose my keys with this statue nearby.