Tag: video

Helicopter Checks Out UFO Over Los Angeles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Helicopter Checks Out UFO Over Los Angeles
In other news, this UFO was recently spotted over LA, looking like a giant Disco ball. Some helicopters came and circled it for awhile too. The disco ball telepathically sent this message “We come to see your Bee-Gees. Your platform shoes. And the funk!” Sadly, no Bee-Gees were present, so the army wrangled up Justin Beiber. The best they could do on short notice. “This is the best we can offer you in this era!” a scientist shouted into a megaphone, while Beiber began to sing. Witnesses say that they heard the telepathic drone of a thousand beings committing mass suicide before the Disco ball faded into nothingness.

The invasion will begin shortly.
Read more “Helicopter Checks Out UFO Over Los Angeles”

Bigfoot Caught Eating Apples On Trail Cam

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bigfoot Caught On Trail Cam
So this is a video of Bigfoot captured by a trail cam. He was picking apples and appears to have a skin condition. Damn Bigfoot, you best get that looked at. You got the mange. Is it real? I have no idea, but if you have an apple tree, you may see Bigfoot since they seem to love apples. They travel across the country pooping apple seeds and making America rich with food trees. Thank you Bigfoot. Thank you for feeding us. We reap what your butt sews.
Read more “Bigfoot Caught Eating Apples On Trail Cam”

Freaky Monkey Pig Born In Cuba

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Freaky Monkey Pig Born In Cuba
The end is nigh. First we had the eclipse of 2017 and if that wasn’t enough, check out another sign of the end times. A weird-ass monkey pig hybrid born in Cuba. I really wish that what happened in Cuba stayed in Cuba cuz this thing is freaky to look at. Makes me feel all weird. It’s a pig with the face of a chimp and only one eye. Cyclops Pig Chimp! CyChimp Pig. PigClops Monkey! A Pork-Chimp!

*Charlton Heston voice* A planet where apes evolved from pigs?

WTF nature! Why you do me like that? I was eating lunch when I saw this.
Read more “Freaky Monkey Pig Born In Cuba”

Strange Light Formation Under The Moon Scares Witnesses

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Strange Light Formation Under The Moon Scares Witnesses
This strange light formation was spotted over the Gulf of California on August 6, 2017. People freaked. Is it a UFO? A being of light? I have no idea. I’m gonna go with giant supernatural jellyfish using the moon to give us all a glimpse at his new one-man show titled “Look at me, I’m an angel.”

https://youtu.be/ubYyjraYtdk

Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.

Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.

*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*
Read more “Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted”