Tag: worm

Ball of Worms – With Realistic Slime

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Ball of Worms - With Realistic Slime
Goodness gracious, great ball of worms. Throw these things back and forth and have a ball. Or a worm. It’s not a ball of wax, it’s not a ball of fun. It’s a great big ball of ewww! A ball of ick and ack, a ball that is whacked. Writhing worms, now with realistic slime coating. You could make one yourself by collecting worms from the dirt and compacting them into a nasty slimy ball, but it will always SPLAT on impact and that’s never pretty. Especially if you get hit upside the head. That’s how you get an ear worm.

These balls have all the yuck and none of the guts. They worm my heart. *You got balls kid!* Thanks, they’re full of worms. *Uh, okay, now get the hell away from me boy* Actually it takes real balls to display these things in your home. For real. And for some reason I never ever want to eat pasta again. I wonder why. I prefer these caterpillar babies.

Freaky Rat Worm Sighting

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Freaky Rat Worm Sighting
What the shizz! Check out this nightmarish mystery creature that resembles some kind of cross between a rat and worm. What is this nightmare? It ain’t nothing like your common rat. Some British woman noticed this freaky rat slithering around on her back porch, just chilling. I would have stomped on it but would be too afraid that a million tiny spiders would burst out and all attack me. I hope this woman had the good sense to move away from that house after seeing this thing.

The rat clock didn’t even tell me it was time for this weird nightmare. I’m not seeing the rat part myself, but maybe rats are different in Britain. I don’t know what this thing is, but I don’t want any part of it. Nope. Not the rat part and not the worm part. Does it have a knife? That looks like a blade. It looks like it’s ready to cut a b***h! Looks like a butter knife. I wonder if it waved that blade around to scare this British woman. This freaky rat is tough. From the streets for sure. The hood. I wonder what its gang name is. Probably the Knife Worms.
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Wormbaby Caterpillar Babies

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Wormbaby Caterpillar BabiesIs it creepy or cute? Beats me. I only know that I was infested with wormbabies one time and it was a nightmare to get rid of them. If you don’t catch them quick, they use their soft-serve pointy heads to attach themselves to objects and form a cocoon. Then they turn into mothbabies and start eating holes in your clothes.

That’s probably why my clothes have so many holes in them. It doesn’t help that when I drop food on my shirt, I suck out the stain like a vampire. You can’t let all of that mac and cheese MSG go to waste. It’s like Bill Compton going to town on Sooky Stackhouse. Or Eric Northman. Or those other 10 guys. Sooky, you is a tramp. *Does the Lafayette finger snap and saunters away swaying my hips*
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