Tag: balls

Ball of Worms – With Realistic Slime

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Ball of Worms - With Realistic Slime
Goodness gracious, great ball of worms. Throw these things back and forth and have a ball. Or a worm. It’s not a ball of wax, it’s not a ball of fun. It’s a great big ball of ewww! A ball of ick and ack, a ball that is whacked. Writhing worms, now with realistic slime coating. You could make one yourself by collecting worms from the dirt and compacting them into a nasty slimy ball, but it will always SPLAT on impact and that’s never pretty. Especially if you get hit upside the head. That’s how you get an ear worm.

These balls have all the yuck and none of the guts. They worm my heart. *You got balls kid!* Thanks, they’re full of worms. *Uh, okay, now get the hell away from me boy* Actually it takes real balls to display these things in your home. For real. And for some reason I never ever want to eat pasta again. I wonder why. I prefer these caterpillar babies.

Human Finger Balls

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human finger balls
These creepy human finger balls are what happens when genetic engineers make toys. You’ll poke your eye out kid. These are perfect for when you want to give a gift that gives your kid the finger. Give him all the fingers while you’re at it.

The package says, “Throw them! Stretch them! Catch them!” Note that it doesn’t say, “You and a friend can pick both nostrils at once!” or “Mom likes them best!” It’s a toy! It’s a mutation! It’s just crazy enough that it might work. What the hell is wrong with this toy company?

Kangaroo Scrotum Keychain

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kangaroo scrotumThis nifty Kangaroo Scrotum Keychain sold for $33 the other day. If a rabbit’s foot gives you luck, I wonder what a Kangaroo scrotum will deliver. More to the point, why are we mutilating things to increase our own luck? Oh well, who am I to complain? If this guy wants Kangaroo balls in his pocket, swinging around next to his junk, who am I to judge? Maybe he’s hoping to become the next pocket pool champion and he’s cuing up these Kangaroo nads for the game of a lifetime. Dream big my friend. You can accomplish anything if you set your mind(and the family jewels)to it.

Fly Infested Balls From The Amityville Horror House

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amityvilleEbay seller Amityphotos is looking to sell something that they purchased from the Amytiville Horror House. Is the item haunted? The seller says probably not. It’s not even from the original owners. But still, the item has spent part of its life in the world famous Amityville House, site of 6 murders and that makes it a very creepy conversation piece.
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