Illuminati in da house! Shhhhhhh! We don’t talk about them. Ever. Anyway, this Liquorbrand Ouija Board Gothic Symbols Purse has all kinds of Ouija Board symbols and even an Illuminati eye in the center. Did I not just tell you to shut your mouth? Just talkin’ bout Shaft. I mean Illuminati! That’s it! We told you that the first rule of Illuminati is that you don’t talk about Illuminati. And you just keep blabbing on and on. Yeah, well you just talked about ’em. I’m just trying to make a point. You keep- Looks like we’re both out of the club. You son of a-
Author: Artemis Winterford
Dashcam Captures Ghost In Ireland
Some guy in Ireland captured a ghost on his dashcam. It almost looks like a real person except for the fact that it just sort of appears, has a weird shadow person quality, is dressed like he’s from the 17th century and then walks through a damn wall. Now, normally I would make some joke about somebody being drunk, cuz Ireland, but there’s just no one drunk here. Dude just walks through the wall, continuing on his way. In a much calmer way then the Kool-Aid man, it has to be said. His ghost would have just plowed through the brick and been like OH YEAH. Now, that I want to catch on camera, but not sure if the Kool-Aid man is dead or just never existed. Gonna wiki that when I’m done here.
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Guy Finds Chupacabra Skull
This guy had his metal detector with him cuz he was looking to find something to make him rich. Aren’t we all? Well, it was his dog that ended up finding the treasure that fateful day. Nightmare treasure. Not black gold. Not Texas tea. And next thing ya know old Jed ain’t a millionaire. But he did find a Chupacabra skull thanks to his dog. So now he is the proud owner of a Chupacabra cranium. I know what you’re thinking. Looks like a cat skull right? I don’t think so. Those teeth are huge.
The treasure hunter at one point said, “this is what nightmares are made of.” When asked to clarify, he pointed toward the house where his wife waited in the doorway wearing a moo-moo and sipping a Big Gulp then said, “This skull is pretty frightening too.”
Okay, I made that last part up cuz I’m just real excited about this Chupacabra skull. It’s real guys. You know it and I know it.
via KOB
Gothic Ravenskull Headdress
This Gothic Ravenskull Headdress puts bird skulls on your own skull. Obviously this is what people are raven about this season, while others crow. Speaking of, I always confuse ravens and crows. I once asked my dad, “Why are ravens and crows different?” and he said, “Just caws”. Very helpful as usual dad. Ravenskull sounds like one of them Harry Potter houses that the sorting hat picks out for you. Like, if you really wanted hufflepuff, but got ravenskull instead. What the hell is hufflepuff anyway. Sounds like the name of a paint huffing clown under some highway bridge. Whatevs.
Mummy Mike Rubber Band Holder – Make Mike A Mummy
Hey everybody! It’s the Mummy Mike Rubber Band Holder. Fun fact: At first the title was Mummy Mike Rubber Holder cuz I forgot a word. Then I changed it just so everyone is clear that this guy will NOT hold your rubbers. Only rubber bands. Don’t put your rubbers on him. That’s just gross anyway. Dude starts off naked, but as you add rubber bands, he looks more and more like a mummy. Pretty cool. He is my new favorite desk toy. In fact I’m gonna get several so I have a whole army of rubber band mummies.
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