Look at these twin Nosferatu heads. Those are some sweet Vampire Cufflinks. I’m assuming that rather than attaching them to your cuffs yourself, they just kinda bite down and do it themselves. Probably drawing some blood in the process. So that by the time you get done with your fancy event, you basically have bled out. I can’t decide if they are ugly or cute. Maybe both. Great accessory. Maybe bring some band aids with you.
They beat these Human Teeth Cufflinks.
These Horror Film Knives are going to look great in your kitchen. They are for “decorative purposes only”, but I’m a rebel so I’m gonna chop my vegetables with these maybe display one sticking out of a pumpkin or something. That’s one way to scare up some dinner. Ha ha ha. I made a funny. Anywho, these are great for horror fans. I’m not only a fan, but I’ve been in the horror business for… Let’s see, how long have I been married? I kid. I kid. But seriously, these knives will make company think twice about eating at your place.
Give the man in your life these Silver Skull Cufflinks and Skull Tie Clip. They are an awesome accessory. Normally, skull and crossbones means poison, so nobody will touch your man or they gonna die! Seriously though, they look pretty awesome. Also great for pirates, whether they are of or not of the Caribbean. They are much better than these human teeth cufflinks.
*Talking to Bigfoot* Me like beer. You like beer. We drink beer together and open them with this Bigfoot Bottle Opener. *Pops open our beers*
An hour later…
You shut yer big furry mouths, I’ll drink you under the table. What d’ya mean I’m making an ass o myself? Why you stinky man-ape, thems fightin’ words. One more thing. As long as we’re hanging out you’re gonna refer to me as Han and I’ll call you Chewy. Shut it. Just play along. Did you hit the hyperdrive or am I just seeing stars? *Passes out.*
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Man I lose my keys all of the time. You know why? Cuz they arent attached to a giant pink fetus, obviously. There’s no way you lose your keys when there’s a fetus involved. Oh and the Fetus Keychain is squishy, so, you know, feel free to use it as a stress reliever or just strangle your fetus for no reason. I ain’t judging. They look like little aliens. It goes with this fetus for your wall.