The mighty Kraken. He’s kraken large boats, kraken boots with the female sea monsters, dude is kraka-laken everything. Honor this mighty beast with this cool Kraken Men’s Tie. Go ahead and wear it. Don’t be an Octo-puss. You will have the coolest tie in your office. Unless some other dude wears one too, then it will be a tie. Get it? A tie? I know, I know. The comedy never ends. Check out this cool tie too.
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Category: Creep Wear
Vampire Bat Amulet Necklace
Damn. This Vampire Bat Amulet Necklace looks pissed off. He’s all like, “I am soooo f**king ticked off right now! I don’t even know what to say right now, so I’m just gonna look all shouty.” Classy, but man that bat looks mad as hell. Somebody give that dude a sedative stat! Amulet? More like a damned-ulet! *High fives the indoor house plant next to me.* Okay, calm down bat. I’m wrapping it up. Stop yelling at me. No, I don’t just prattle on forever. You’re a real dick ya know that? Fine, I’m out. You need anger management. No, obviously you do NOT manage it well. Good day sir! I said good day!
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Twin Peaks Necklaces – Wow Bob Wow
*Doing my little midget dance. Claps hands together.* “Kcor s’tel.” Aka Let’s rock! These Twin Peaks Necklaces will make you say WOW BOB WOW. I saw these and I was all like… BOOM. Season 3, Episode 8 mushroom cloud! Got a light? No? Well, at least you have a frog/moth creature in your mouth. That’s something. Sorry, I can’t even write this because I am just too stoked for the next episode. These necklaces come in several styles: BookHouse Boys, Resident of Twin Peaks, Owl Cave, Black Lodge and more. By the way, that doll you like is coming back in style.
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Gothic Black Rose Necklace With Bat Wings
This Black Rose Necklace With Bat Wings makes my heart all a flutter with the pitter-patter of bat wings. You might say that it’s the wind beneath my wings. Or above a pile of bat guano. Is it a bat or a rose? Is it a bat named Rose? I don’t have the answers. I just know that it looks pretty damn cool. Look, I’m just winging it here. It goes well with this Bat Skirt.
Hairy Leg Printed Leggings – Ewww La La
Here’s another product that signals the fact that we are all doomed. Hairy Leg Printed Leggings. They are like the Nasty Chest Swimsuit we featured awhile back. Don’t ask me, I have no idea. You ever have one of those days where you shave all day and wonder why you never get smoother? Only to realize that you still have your hairy leggings on?