Heels are the real nightmare. Am I right girls? Not that I would know. These Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats will keep you close to the Earth and close to sleepy bye bye dream-time where Freddy lives. The molten flesh on the toes are a nice touch. Freddy approves. He will like them so much that he’ll say, “I’m your boyfriend now!”
I wonder if that burnt flesh gets all stinky on a hot summer day. It’s cool, cuz it masks the smell of your foot funk anyway. Its okay, we all got it.
This Mens Skull Bracelet will make even the daintiest man-wrist look tough and like a biker dude. Now that your wrist looks tough, the rest is up to you. You can start by putting that calculator away and ditching those hipster glasses for a Harley, Poindexter. Man up dude. Or should I say, Skull up? Nah, it’s cool. *Whispers* I still wear pink and lavender friendship bracelets. They were a gift to myself. Mommy says it’s okay to be tender and delicate and that men can cry. *buzz* A bee! ARGH! Run inside. Get away bee. ACK! *Swats at it weakly with my wrist.* It’s in my dress. Somebody help! *Faints.*
Keep things casual yet classy at the office with a Cthulhu Polo Shirt. They think you are just a mindless drone, but really you are a badass Colonel in the Cthulhu army. Sure, you could rock an old school alligator, even a horse and polo playing rider on your shirt, but Cthulhu eats all of those things. You are at the top of the fashion food chain.
These kicks have kicked the bucket. These slippers have lost their sole. These Plush Skull Slippers must be what the Grim Reaper wears on his day off, when he’s just reaping around the house. You know, he’s sewn a lot all week and on the weekend he’s gotta reap what he has sewn. I would just stop sewing. Problem solved.
Anyway, these slippers are to die for. I hear that if you want a larger size you have to throw down calcium chews and just let them gobble them up. Cuz calcium builds bigger and stronger bones. Get it? Whatevs.
Read more “These Plush Skull Slippers Have No Soles”
Don’t mess with me buddy. I wear death around my neck. These Pastel Coffin Necklaces are both cute and creepy. They have a little heart cutaway so you can see the corpse inside, if there was a corpse. A corpse is a corpse, of corpse of corpse. These necklaces go with everything. You can even be buried in it and look great. Any takers? Ant undertakers?