Tag: flats

Dragon Head Flats

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Dragon Head FlatsAside from being an awesome band name, Dragon Head Flats are these cool shoes with dragons on them. Also sounds like a place with dragon skulls everywhere. “Hey man, I’ll race ya at dragon head flats!” I am so there. Sadly, these shoes don’t breath fire so you ladies are just gonna have to settle for the old fashioned “kicking us in the balls” when we misbehave, which is a lot. Cuz I’ll probably piss you off with puns like:

Hey you are really draggin’ today. Are you the mother of dragons? Cool, cuz I wanna be the dad.

Stuff like that, cuz I’m what they call an arsehole in the UK and an A-hole everywhere else. Sweet dragons though. You need like dragon print leggings to go with these. See? I offered a good tip. I’m not a complete A-hole. More like a B-Hole cuz I was never an A student, unless I was saying, “Aaaa this sucks.” which it did.

Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats

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Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats
Heels are the real nightmare. Am I right girls? Not that I would know. These Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats will keep you close to the Earth and close to sleepy bye bye dream-time where Freddy lives. The molten flesh on the toes are a nice touch. Freddy approves. He will like them so much that he’ll say, “I’m your boyfriend now!”

I wonder if that burnt flesh gets all stinky on a hot summer day. It’s cool, cuz it masks the smell of your foot funk anyway. Its okay, we all got it.

Garbage Pail Kids Flats

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Garbage Pail Kids Flats
Is your name Atom Bomb? Elaine Vein? Wally Tamale? These Garbage Pail Kids Flats are for you. They have Garbage Pail Kids printed all over them. Actually, these are for women. Sorry guys. You’ll have to find some GPK shoes elsewhere.
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