This Zombie Deck Of Playing Cards makes it so you and the rest of your zombie friends can play poker with an awesome set of illustrated cards. I see your three scabby brain flakes and raise you two teeth that fell out of my rotting skull.
Hey, these suits are all together. Did you even shuffle?
I always shuffle. I’m a zombie.
I have no idea what’s going on in these scenes, but they look pretty friggin’ cool. Like there’s a massive zombie battle throughout the deck.
Use these Ouija Board Inspired Invites to invite people to your fancy shindigs. Shindigs… Not sure what that word even means, but it sounds like a Denny’s type restaurant in a one horse town.
*Holds Ouija Board invitation to my head* I sense a stirring in the spirit world. There will be liquor and hors d’Oeuvres. Followed by a nice dinner with expensive champagne. I will stuff pastries into my pockets to take home with me. Yes, spirit says to find the coat room and rummage through pockets for cash and free breath mints.*Comes out of my trance.* That seals it. I’m going! *Moves planchette to YES!*
The Book of Yeezus is the bible, well, not the entire bible. Who has time for that? It is the book of Genesis, with “Kanye” or “Yeezus” in the place of the word God. “In the beginning Kanye created the heaven and the earth… And Kanye said, Let there be light: and there was light.”
Probably because Kim Kardashian moved her big fat mudflaps out from in front of the lamp. Damn, that badonkadonk could eclipse the twin suns of Tatooine. BUT it would need a landspeeder all to itself. Sadly, it would no longer speed. And it would really be stuck on land.
I would never read this book. I never read the first one, so I don’t know why I would read the reboot. You so silly Hollywood. Plus, I never read anything that isn’t in HD and doesn’t have explody stuff with guns that never hit other people. And I only put the subtitles on because mom’s trying to sleep and my step-dad for the week is all like, “Tell that nerd to lower the volume. It’s a basement, not a frat house. I can hear everything that goes on down there. Now let me rub this all over your sweet sexy body…”
*raises a cheeto to my mouth as I shudder/cry and watch the movie*
Dear Yeezus!
I know you are, but what am I? Hehe. These Pee-Wee Herman And Big Lebowski Robot Coin-Op Animated Machines are pretty awesome, but super creepy as hell. You have to watch the videos below. It will convince you that hell is a real place, because these animatronics clearly have tormented souls trapped within.
When a quarter is inserted ,a doorbell dings (an actual mechanical chime) ,which wakes up the animated Pee-Wee , and the show begins! I wanted to capture everything Pee-Wee Herman in under 2 minutes,so the first half of his performance features the actual TV theme song to “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” , as the animatronic Pee-Wee moves around and “talks” in sync to the music and flashing lights ! The second half of the program features his famous quotes from the 1985 movie “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”, and he even does his signature dance to the song “Tequila” ,just like in the movie!
Relaxing on his famous rug in his bathrobe,joint in one hand, White Russian cocktail in the other, animatronic Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski , comes to life ,moving in his apartment and reciting all of his famous quotes from the cult classic movie “The Big Lebowski” as soon as you deposit a coin into this unique machine !
For the second half of the program, The Dude asks you if it’s ok if he can “Do a J” while taking a hit from his joint as one of many memorable songs from the movie plays!! Real smoke pours out of his mouth as he leans back and exhales, and the tip of his “joint” even lights up!The non-toxic smoke smells nice & sweet, like Kahlúa! Far out ,man….far fuc**ng out!
His head is fully animated, and his mouth moves in sync to all the dialog too.
At the end of the program, he even dispenses you a gumball, says good-bye,then goes back to “sleep” as the lights turn off .”Darkness warshed over the Dude – darker’n a black steer’s tookus on a moonless prairie night.”
Check them out below. They are as awesome as they are terrifying.
Read more “Pee-Wee Herman / Big Lebowski Robot Coin-Op Animated Machines”
This Wax-On Wax-Off Car Cleaning Kit should make your car nice and shiny. This car cleaning kit comes with two mitts, some car wax and a karate bandanna. I bought this like a year ago. Turns out I was doing it wrong. Let’s just say that the Wax-On glove is still in pristine condition, while the Wax-Off glove is pretty worn in.
The upside is that my junk is all shiny with a clear protective coating. My Sensei said I had what it took to get to the finals, but the training never seemed to end. “Again!” *Hits me with a bamboo stick* But Sensei, I’m worn out. I can’t do it. “Again!” Fine. Whatever.
That’s what I get for confusing “wandering mystic karate master who is wise because he mumbles” with “homeless guy who mumbles because he is drunk and deranged”. Say where’d you learn karate, master? “Me? I no know karate. I just like to watch you Wax-Off.” Fair enough. I’ll give you a ride to that overpass you like to sleep under. Then we go our separate ways.