Tag: kit

Blood Vial Pendant Kit

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Blood Vial Pendant Kit

So this Blood Vial Pendant Kit is bloody cool and bloody stylish. As the seller says, Blood has been used for magical purposes for hundreds of years and has been know to represent life force in its most basic nature. Apparently I’ve been doing it all wrong. I’ve been trying to use my band aids for magical purposes. It just ain’t working. You get one complete kit to craft one blood vial pendant necklace. You can use your own blood, or a lover, or some Kool-Aid if you want. That’s also what the seller said. But I added the Kool-Aid part. I’m not judging.

Personally, I’d combine this with the Bloody Pearl Necklace Choker.

Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit

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Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit Make some zombie poetry with the Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit. Put your creations on the fridge or other metal surface. I don’t know about you, but I find zombie poetry to be beautiful and romantic. If I create zombie poetry and display it on my fridge, does that count as being published? I’m gonna say yeah. But I get too distracted by the fridge and leave my poetry half finished, but never my burrito. That always gets finished. I’m just no good under pressure and by that I mean I get all gassy and crampy and doubled over, until the pressure is relieved. Then it’s back to snacking while I stare at the words in a kitchen that smells like a trash heap.
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Dracula Tissue Box Cover

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Dracula Tissue Box Cover
Have you been bitten by a Vampire? If so, dry your tears on some tissues from this Dracula Tissue Box Cover. You know what they say.Once bitten twice shy. What the hell does that even mean? That I’m gonna be bashful if another Vampire bites me? Hell no. I’m a little tease. I’m gonna be all batting my eyelashes and flirting. Then when he’s distracted, I’m gonna bite him instead and turn him human, cuz that’ll work. Then when he is holding his neck and saying, “Ow! What the-” I’m gonna knee him in the nuts and run.

Mini Vampire Kits

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Mini Vampire Kits
These Mini Vampire Kits will come in real handy if I get attacked by a tiny blood sucker. That’s why I’m taking one of these with me in the woods. You know, ticks. Tiny bloodsuckers. Also should be good against midget politicians. And it might help you against doctors bearing tiny syringes. There are a lot of tiny blood suckers out there now that I think about it. This will help.

Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit

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Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit
The Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit lets you put any face you want on a urinal cake. At last, I will pee on the faces of those who have wronged me. Talk about a toxic avenger. Like that guy who gave me a hassle at the grocery store the other day when I told him I didn’t need a bag for my 1 item purchase. Take a bag. No thanks. You gotta have a bag. That’s okay. But it’s store policy. You don’t want someone to think you stole it. They won’t. I have a receipt. And you know I paid. Back off already. Damn kid. It ain’t worth the coronary strain that’s gonna cause your pizza face to erupt like a thousand tiny volcanoes. Chill already. I spent like five minutes arguing.

Yeah, that guy. Eff That guy. I’d like to sneak a pic of his face with my phone and put it on a urinal cake. *Peeing after like 50 drinks.* Now who wants a bag? I bet you want a bag, don’t you? Have a bag! Well you’re not getting a bag. Just pee! It’s raining pee, hallelujah it’s raining pee. Amen! Stick that in your bag you little-

I hate that guy.