You know how it is. Every New Years eve humans make resolutions to go to the gym and vow never to be lard-butts again, then they go work out on January 1st and realize it isn’t so bad being a lard-butt. Meanwhile, robots are exercising so they can all take us in a fight. These robots be gettin’ them gains son! Doing sit-ups, push-ups and looking creepy AF. Try not to be weirded out as you watch these robots workout. I’m not scared. Come at me bro! Come at me! I’m effin’ ripped bro. Just ripped my pants! Oh man, I’m winded. Also having trouble getting out of this chair, which seems to be getting smaller everyday. My heart is really racing guys. Whew. Just gonna have a twinkie and calm down. Oh that’s better. You win this one Terminator.
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Category: Just Plain Weird
Skeleton Hand Napkin Holder
Unhand my napkins you bony biatch! Seriously though, this Skeleton Hand Napkin Holder will come in handy at dinner time. It takes a very hands on approach. It’s doing a great job, so everybody give it a hand. Okay, enough hand jokes. I’ve said the word hand so many times that you would think I was getting paid to say it. Like I got a hand job or something. Well, that didn’t sound right. I’m just gonna quit while I’m ahead. Enjoy your awesome new napkin holder.
Scary Zodiac Pillow Covers
Like OMG these Scary Zodiac Pillow Covers are so on fleek. Mercury is def in retrograde guys cuz they didn’t even get my name right at Starbucks. Plus Jupiter is ascending in the fourth house and like, OMG where’d you get those boots. Those boots go with that blouse like Aries and Aquarius. I’m so gel. I’m totally buying those so we can be twinsies! We are so gemini. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh look, something shiny and funny sound from phone! AKA “sleepytime while my thumbs move”.
The Mighty Kraken Toilet Paper Holder
Wipe your Kraken with some help from this Kraken Toilet Paper Holder. I’m not saying he’s gonna use each of his eight tentacles to get your butt as clean as it’s ever been, though that would be refreshing, but I am saying that he’s gonna always be there to offer you some fresh TP when you need it most.And if he ever fails you, it’s your fault cuz you forgot to replace the toilet paper.
Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds
Make the walking dead the freezing dead with these Tovolo Zombies Popsicle Molds. Look, zombies want to eat you, so I say we eat them first. Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck! Heh. That’s my new insult. If someone says something I don’t like, I’m yelling, “Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck!” I’m hoping it really takes off and becomes something New Yorkers yell at each other every day.
Seriously though, these Popsicle molds are awesome. I’m gonna go make some delicious zombie treats now. Don’t let the door hit you… You shut up! You shut it right now! Stick a zombie in your mouth and suck!