Hey everybody! It’s the Mummy Mike Rubber Band Holder. Fun fact: At first the title was Mummy Mike Rubber Holder cuz I forgot a word. Then I changed it just so everyone is clear that this guy will NOT hold your rubbers. Only rubber bands. Don’t put your rubbers on him. That’s just gross anyway. Dude starts off naked, but as you add rubber bands, he looks more and more like a mummy. Pretty cool. He is my new favorite desk toy. In fact I’m gonna get several so I have a whole army of rubber band mummies.
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Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet
I can’t be the only one who is creeped out by the Praying Mantis. It is just wrong and creepy. Get it away. Get that Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet out of my face. *Sprays raid all over your face* I warned you. You’re gonna wanna put some milk on that. Sorry, I’m all out.
What the hell are they praying for anyway? Even more nightmarish looks? They describe this toy as “Great fun for toddlers and children”. More like “Great fun for the therapists that are gonna get rich cuz your kid is traumatized for life”. And you know why too. F**k Praying Mantises!
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Zombie Hands Pathway Markers
These Zombie Hands Pathway Markers will light the way, but do you dare follow the path? I know I don’t want my ankles grabbed by zombie hands! Which, ironically, is what several girlfriends have told me in bed. I must have weird hands. Anyway, these zombie hands will light your way and look nice and creepy in your yard. They go well with these zombie head path markers too.
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Grow Yourself Some Sexy Woman-Shaped Peppers
I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I like it. I like it a lot. Apparently some mad scientist has created a seed that will let you grow some peppers that are shaped like sexy woman bodies. I call it the “Pervy Pepper”. It is one voluptuous vegetable. Sexy time and gardening collide at long last. I’m gonna grow a bunch and dress them in little bikinis so I can impress my neighbors. Not this one though cuz damn!
Anatomy Models Bundle Set
Human organs, we all gots ’em. And we cant sees ’em. That’s the way God intended it cuz they’re gross and stuff. But if you really want to have a look and study them, you can use this Anatomy Models Bundle Set to see how everything works. You get a Heart Model, Brain Model, Body Model and a Skeleton Model. Heck, you can build yourself a whole human if you can figure out how to bring it to life. Except it has no skin, so… No. Don’t do that. I might use the inside of that brain for chocolates though.
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